超酷，跟大家分享~
======================
事業篇
無論是打工還是創業，其本質無外乎向老闆或客戶出賣自己的有形或無形產品。一言以蔽之：大家都是出來賣的。既然是出來賣的，一要賣相好，二要敬業，三不要嫌買貨人。所以，第一要保持美麗，第二要多做事少抱怨，第三看在錢的份上要適當妥協。付出不一定有回報，努力不一定有收穫。學習知識和鍛煉身體除外。我們是動物進化來的，即使高級也還是動物，達爾文主義一直適用。只有把自己訓練成更敏捷、更強壯的動物，才能活得好點。所以懶散消極肯定不是長久之計，要是在動物世界，在金字塔底的你還這麼耗著，已經死了。 這個時代的規律就是沒有絕對公平競爭，接受這一點，然後武裝自己投身到轟轟烈烈的不公平競爭中去。順應規律而行，也是達爾文主義。先贏了再說。享受你戰利品的時候，你心裡可以繼續憤世嫉俗。不要濫用憐憫給競爭失敗的人，因為下一次也許會是你。爭取半天的願望沒有實現， 一要怪自己學藝不精， 二要怪自己運氣不好， 然後趕快行動起來爭取下一個願望。前面投入的時間精力，統統算做沉沒成本。勇於承擔沉沒成本是出來混的第一課。
感情篇
談戀愛的條件，就是讓自己從精神到物質，從靈魂到肉體，因為有了對方都比從前的狀態更好。 否則何必呢？如果男人現在對你一般，不要指望他會在婚後對你更好, 他對你最好的時刻一定是追求期和熱戀期。如果這兩個時期你尚且對他不滿，那你要好好想想了。不妨讓他為你多花點時間和錢，通常人投入的越多，就越難割捨。就算你為已經他投入了很多時間和錢，該離開的時候也要利索點離開。勇於承擔戀愛的沉沒成本，是展開新生活的前提。如果你看中他的錢，在適當的時候要到這錢才是你的。 打鐵要趁熱，要錢要趁愛！你的直覺往往比事實還準確。兩個人最終過起日子來，"也就那麼回事"。 已經是非常好的結局，因為很多人發現婚後"完全不是那麼回事"。一個身體再性感，展開後翻來覆去看也就兩個平方米，互相失去興趣是正常的規律。只是晚點失去興趣的那個人會覺得受傷。成功的感情關係裡，愛情是一定會轉化成親情的。親情就是Happy ending。如果愛情沒了親情又沒形成，那該關係已經失敗。通常人們用生育來協助這一轉化的完成。
老人說的道理大部分都是對的，比如結婚要找個踏實顧家的男人，但是這些道理只有在談上兩三個讓你遍體鱗傷的戀愛後才會明白。撞了南牆自然懂得回頭，怕就怕一直沒回頭。男人也是人，他不是必然比你還要聰明、勇敢、勤勞和富有。如果你不能愛一個男人的本尊，而是愛上你期待中的他的話，你會一直失望，而他會因壓力過大而沉默和崩潰。對一個人的崇拜不足以支撐瑣碎的日常生活。偶像要走下神壇，他談完世界觀也要去大便。自古以來，就有白蛇和青蛇，白玫瑰與紅玫瑰，男人得隴望蜀防不勝防。不如別防了，剩下精力多掙點錢，或者美容保養。萬一失了陣地還保有戰鬥力再搶一塊。
生活篇
欲望不實現就痛苦，欲望實現了就無聊。只有剛剛實現後那短暫的時期是幸福。所以幸福必然是短暫的，痛苦和無聊才是生活的常態。這是我們的欲望決定的。別人的任何選擇和決定都有他自己的道理，儘量理解和不干涉。但如果傷害到你的心靈和財產，一定要干涉。面子是別人給的。 別人會把面子給那些那堅持表現出誠實、勇敢、勤奮和靠譜的人。不以以上這些元素作為給面子準則的人，你也不用在意他給不給你面子。不用等到什麼時機都成熟了再開始做一件事，在游泳中學會游泳，在開車中學會開車，摸著石頭是可以過河的。前提是輸得起。通常來說有兩種狀態：痛苦的哲學家和快樂的豬。痛苦的時候，儘量搞清痛苦的緣由，否則就成了痛苦的豬。
美容篇
作為女性，你的外表和你的性格共同決定你的命運，這是殘酷的現實。無論哪朝哪代、東方或西方，端莊路線是永遠不會錯的。 裝也要裝的像。腰圍是黃金分割和女性體態婀娜的關鍵，是少女和大媽的分水嶺。 要拼死保持。學好化妝術，拾掇好再出門。你自己會開心，別人對你會多點耐心，百利而無一害。如果你單身，建議你保持時刻準備著的狀態，也就是說儘量隨時都看上去很美。 很難說哪朵雲彩下雨，也許轉角就遇到愛。當你對美好身材的渴望遠遠大於你對食物的渴望，你就可以成功減肥。減不下來那是因為你的渴望還不夠強烈。
後記
以上的種種經驗教訓只能解決技術上的問題，長得是不是美，工作是不是如意，男人是不是好，其實全在運氣。祝我的姐妹們心想事成！
2009/10/16
2009/10/14
(文章轉載) 快樂經濟學／感恩的力量
【經濟日報╱▉盧希鵬】
2009.10.14 04:38 am
富足是一種快樂的感覺。許多時候，富足的感覺來自於很小的事物，夾雜著一種感恩與惜福。而感恩將是一股力量，讓企業的服務流程，注入了生命。
我記得20年前在美國讀書時，有一天半夜好友欒斌教授打電話給我，說他有好東西要與我分享。於是半夜我開著車到他家，他從冰箱拿出一個荔枝罐頭，大家異口同聲地喊了個「哇」字，這是當時留學生們都懷念的家鄉味道。他很慎重地將罐頭打開，夾出一粒荔枝，用刀切成四等分，每人拿一片吃。從來沒有吃過這麼好吃的荔枝，既使現在吃過無數粒新鮮甜美的玉荷包，但那四分之一粒罐頭荔枝的滋味，卻最讓我回味無窮。
快樂常來自於很小的事，來自珍惜、來自感恩。在冬天，喝一壺熱茶，洗個熱水澡，都是一種快樂、一種惜福與感恩。
每一件人、事、物都有好與壞，悲觀的人擔心失去的部分，樂觀的人，看到擁有的部分。悲觀的人因為斷了一隻腳而怨天尤人，樂觀的人因為還有一隻腳而感謝上帝。有人因為考70分覺得很差勁，也有人認為我答對了70分而雀躍不已。事情沒有改變，但是快樂的感覺卻差很多。
感恩，就是決定看我現在所擁有的，於是富足感就會油然而生。我記得張忠謀先生曾說，人生不如意的事，十之八九，那麼，我們就應該要常看所擁有如意的「十之一二」，因為決定生命品質的不是八九，而是一二!
感恩是有力量的，因為感恩的思想，會讓我們從「失」的感覺中回復，產生「得」的感覺，然後就會有富足感，進而有幫助人的行動力量。感恩需要練習。當你不快樂的時候，寧靜地聽聽心中的聲音，想想今天值得感恩的三件人事物，往往心情就會好過來，原來自己是那麼的富足。
我認為企業也要開始學習做「懂得感恩的企業」。最近許多企業高喊顧客親和（customer intimacy）的口號，要求的只是一些標準作業程序，如果企業員工沒有感恩的心，流程就成為沒有靈魂的軀殼。如果服務人員抱怨客戶，如何產生親暱感。員工應該開始學習對客戶感恩，因為沒有客戶，怎麼會有我的工作呢？
我對公司也不要再抱怨了，抱怨無法改變事實，只會扼殺自己的生活品質。如果你沒有辦法改變那十之八九，那就為你所擁有的十之一二來感恩吧，你將會是一個富足的人!
（作者是台灣科技大學資訊管理系教授，美國威斯康辛大學麥迪遜分校訪問學者）
2009.10.14 04:38 am
富足是一種快樂的感覺。許多時候，富足的感覺來自於很小的事物，夾雜著一種感恩與惜福。而感恩將是一股力量，讓企業的服務流程，注入了生命。
我記得20年前在美國讀書時，有一天半夜好友欒斌教授打電話給我，說他有好東西要與我分享。於是半夜我開著車到他家，他從冰箱拿出一個荔枝罐頭，大家異口同聲地喊了個「哇」字，這是當時留學生們都懷念的家鄉味道。他很慎重地將罐頭打開，夾出一粒荔枝，用刀切成四等分，每人拿一片吃。從來沒有吃過這麼好吃的荔枝，既使現在吃過無數粒新鮮甜美的玉荷包，但那四分之一粒罐頭荔枝的滋味，卻最讓我回味無窮。
快樂常來自於很小的事，來自珍惜、來自感恩。在冬天，喝一壺熱茶，洗個熱水澡，都是一種快樂、一種惜福與感恩。
每一件人、事、物都有好與壞，悲觀的人擔心失去的部分，樂觀的人，看到擁有的部分。悲觀的人因為斷了一隻腳而怨天尤人，樂觀的人因為還有一隻腳而感謝上帝。有人因為考70分覺得很差勁，也有人認為我答對了70分而雀躍不已。事情沒有改變，但是快樂的感覺卻差很多。
感恩，就是決定看我現在所擁有的，於是富足感就會油然而生。我記得張忠謀先生曾說，人生不如意的事，十之八九，那麼，我們就應該要常看所擁有如意的「十之一二」，因為決定生命品質的不是八九，而是一二!
感恩是有力量的，因為感恩的思想，會讓我們從「失」的感覺中回復，產生「得」的感覺，然後就會有富足感，進而有幫助人的行動力量。感恩需要練習。當你不快樂的時候，寧靜地聽聽心中的聲音，想想今天值得感恩的三件人事物，往往心情就會好過來，原來自己是那麼的富足。
我認為企業也要開始學習做「懂得感恩的企業」。最近許多企業高喊顧客親和（customer intimacy）的口號，要求的只是一些標準作業程序，如果企業員工沒有感恩的心，流程就成為沒有靈魂的軀殼。如果服務人員抱怨客戶，如何產生親暱感。員工應該開始學習對客戶感恩，因為沒有客戶，怎麼會有我的工作呢？
我對公司也不要再抱怨了，抱怨無法改變事實，只會扼殺自己的生活品質。如果你沒有辦法改變那十之八九，那就為你所擁有的十之一二來感恩吧，你將會是一個富足的人!
（作者是台灣科技大學資訊管理系教授，美國威斯康辛大學麥迪遜分校訪問學者）
2009/10/4
教練初體驗 2009-9-19
Coaches : Jorie, Keli, Tina (我 ^^), Wesley, Zoe and Jeremy
時間：2009/09/19 星期六 下午
地點：青年志工中心
這是我們 ICA 學習伙伴們第一次一起合作，與朝邦基金會的會員們分享什麼是教練。很謝謝 Keli, Jorie 讓我有機會參與其中，我的收穫絕對不亞於現場所有參與的伙伴們。
相關活動內容與精彩照片，都可以從以下的網站連結一窺究竟。謝謝 Elsa 精彩精美的報導。讓我重溫那些感動的時刻。
http://tw.myblog.yahoo.com/elsa1277/article?mid=1885&prev=1917&next=1866
時間：2009/09/19 星期六 下午
地點：青年志工中心
這是我們 ICA 學習伙伴們第一次一起合作，與朝邦基金會的會員們分享什麼是教練。很謝謝 Keli, Jorie 讓我有機會參與其中，我的收穫絕對不亞於現場所有參與的伙伴們。
相關活動內容與精彩照片，都可以從以下的網站連結一窺究竟。謝謝 Elsa 精彩精美的報導。讓我重溫那些感動的時刻。
http://tw.myblog.yahoo.com/elsa1277/article?mid=1885&prev=1917&next=1866
2009/10/2
Community of practice – Executive (3)
Facilitator: Kathy Munoz
We easily make assumption that business people understands the needs of time management or delegation. Sometimes, they have no idea of the importance. In that case, we need to do so education first.
Why Time Management is important? Why is me who needs time management? (We could change the way of communication - Let’s talk about time management. What does time management mean to you? How do you feel about time management? Then we move to the needs of time management.)
Let the team use the same language. Coach a person with educational piece.
No matter coaching, consulting, facilitating or mentoring: b specific clear of what are we doing – this is what I am doing or about to do now.
Oral Exam Questions for Supervised Coaching
Q: Di scribe the coaching process in your coaching session?
Q: What did you learn from the session?
Q: What would you do to improve the coaching session?
We easily make assumption that business people understands the needs of time management or delegation. Sometimes, they have no idea of the importance. In that case, we need to do so education first.
Why Time Management is important? Why is me who needs time management? (We could change the way of communication - Let’s talk about time management. What does time management mean to you? How do you feel about time management? Then we move to the needs of time management.)
Let the team use the same language. Coach a person with educational piece.
No matter coaching, consulting, facilitating or mentoring: b specific clear of what are we doing – this is what I am doing or about to do now.
Oral Exam Questions for Supervised Coaching
Q: Di scribe the coaching process in your coaching session?
Q: What did you learn from the session?
Q: What would you do to improve the coaching session?
Community of practice – Executive (2)
Facilitator: Kathy Munoz
Shared by Kathy
Here are some commonly used assessment tools and their definitions.
DiSC Management Strategies
http://www.corexcel.com/html/personal.profile.desc.htm
Commonly used tool and associated training program for providing feedback and improving on people's self-management and team management in workplace settings.
[U]Herrmann Brain Dominance Instrument/U] http://hbdi.com/WholeBrainProductsAndServices/thehbdi.cfm
The HBDI 120-item self-report diagnostic tool which provides thinking styles profiling based on left-right hemisphere preferences and cognitive vs. limbic thinking preferences. Can also be used for team profiling and analysis.
Human Synergistics (Human Synergistics International)http://www.humansynergistics.com/products/IDAoverview.aspx
A thinking style / personality profiling and feedback system, plus training program, which can be completed on an individual, team and organization level to assess strengths and areas for improvement/change in individual effectiveness.
Keirsey Temperament Sorter
http://www.keirsey.com/
Similar to the MBTI, identifies 16 personality sub-types, based on dichotomous ratings on 4 main personality factors which are derived from the psychological work of Carl Jung.
Myers-Briggs Type Indicator
http://www.myersbriggs.org/my-mbti-personality-type/mbti-bas ics/
The MBTI is the most widely used personality assessment questionnaire, particularly in workplace training. The MBTI identifies people as being one of 16 overall types, based on dichotomous ratings on 4 main personality factors.
Team Management Systems (Margerison & McCann)
http://www.tms.com.au/
Profiles the kinds of kind of roles people prefer to play in groups and teams. Provides individual and team-levels of analysis. Used to help improve quality of team performance.
360-Degree Feedback
http://www.360-degreefeedback.com/
System for gathering feedback from others about personality and work styles which makes particular use of combining observer ratings and comparing with self-ratings.
Shared by Kathy
Here are some commonly used assessment tools and their definitions.
DiSC Management Strategies
http://www.corexcel.com/html/personal.profile.desc.htm
Commonly used tool and associated training program for providing feedback and improving on people's self-management and team management in workplace settings.
[U]Herrmann Brain Dominance Instrument/U] http://hbdi.com/WholeBrainProductsAndServices/thehbdi.cfm
The HBDI 120-item self-report diagnostic tool which provides thinking styles profiling based on left-right hemisphere preferences and cognitive vs. limbic thinking preferences. Can also be used for team profiling and analysis.
Human Synergistics (Human Synergistics International)http://www.humansynergistics.com/products/IDAoverview.aspx
A thinking style / personality profiling and feedback system, plus training program, which can be completed on an individual, team and organization level to assess strengths and areas for improvement/change in individual effectiveness.
Keirsey Temperament Sorter
http://www.keirsey.com/
Similar to the MBTI, identifies 16 personality sub-types, based on dichotomous ratings on 4 main personality factors which are derived from the psychological work of Carl Jung.
Myers-Briggs Type Indicator
http://www.myersbriggs.org/my-mbti-personality-type/mbti-bas ics/
The MBTI is the most widely used personality assessment questionnaire, particularly in workplace training. The MBTI identifies people as being one of 16 overall types, based on dichotomous ratings on 4 main personality factors.
Team Management Systems (Margerison & McCann)
http://www.tms.com.au/
Profiles the kinds of kind of roles people prefer to play in groups and teams. Provides individual and team-levels of analysis. Used to help improve quality of team performance.
360-Degree Feedback
http://www.360-degreefeedback.com/
System for gathering feedback from others about personality and work styles which makes particular use of combining observer ratings and comparing with self-ratings.
Community of practice – Executive (1)
Facilitator: Kathy Munoz
Shared by Kathy
Here are some commonly used assessment tools and their definitions.
Adversity Quotient (Paul Stolz, 2000)
http://www.peaklearning.com/
Similar to resilience and hardiness, the Adversity Quotient has been proposed as an indicator of capacity to withstand and thrive on challenging circumstances specifically related to business and the workplace.
40 Developmental Assets (Search Institute)
http://www.search-institute.org/assets/
The Developmental Asset framework identifies 20 external and 20 internal assets. Each asset helps promote healthy development of young people. External assets are essentially positive experiences provided by the world, including support networks, empowerment, appropriate boundaries and expectations, and positive and constructive use of time. Internal assets are characteristics and behaviors that reflect positive internal qualities, including values and identities, social competencies, and orientation to learning. Internal assets allow young people to make thoughtful choices and be better prepared for situations that challenge inner strength.
Enneagram
http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/dis_Sample_36.asp
Personality tool based on 9 personality types. Developed with a more deeply historical and spiritual orientation than most other similar questionnaires by some leading humanistic psychologists, including Gurdjieff, Ichazo, and Naranjo. The types relate to the major roles that people seem to adopt and play in society. There is no definitive Enneagram questionnaire - various free and commercial versions are available.
Shared by Kathy
Here are some commonly used assessment tools and their definitions.
Adversity Quotient (Paul Stolz, 2000)
http://www.peaklearning.com/
Similar to resilience and hardiness, the Adversity Quotient has been proposed as an indicator of capacity to withstand and thrive on challenging circumstances specifically related to business and the workplace.
40 Developmental Assets (Search Institute)
http://www.search-institute.org/assets/
The Developmental Asset framework identifies 20 external and 20 internal assets. Each asset helps promote healthy development of young people. External assets are essentially positive experiences provided by the world, including support networks, empowerment, appropriate boundaries and expectations, and positive and constructive use of time. Internal assets are characteristics and behaviors that reflect positive internal qualities, including values and identities, social competencies, and orientation to learning. Internal assets allow young people to make thoughtful choices and be better prepared for situations that challenge inner strength.
Enneagram
http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/dis_Sample_36.asp
Personality tool based on 9 personality types. Developed with a more deeply historical and spiritual orientation than most other similar questionnaires by some leading humanistic psychologists, including Gurdjieff, Ichazo, and Naranjo. The types relate to the major roles that people seem to adopt and play in society. There is no definitive Enneagram questionnaire - various free and commercial versions are available.
Community of practice – Life (3)
Facilitator: Merci Miglino
How do people find you from marketing's’ perspective?
- Niche is a function of marketing. It’s not about confidence.
- Narrow it down for people to find me.
- Spend my time and energy to a target market. (A websites with different pages)
- Just do it!
What’s your advantage to the consumers?
- You have something in common
- I might look for somebody with that need
- We don’t have to know what they are doing. (I support people to see a bigger goal and take action to achieve it.)
They always know the how and what. We do not apply our knowledge but unearth the knowledge of them.
Broaden my circle and scope of coaching to see what would happen.
What are my confidence and what are my skills?
What makes a good coach?
A person who has common living experience could integrate and articulate those experience which shows up their giving.
What can I do or not do right now?
Make you more findable – with your name as the website’s name. ^^
Women want to be more powered. (Refer to Merci’s blog)
Rolling with Life’s punches
Life is
10% what happens to you
90% how you look at it
- Setbacks are temporary (Look with the inspirations)
- No one’s to blame (not why but get into how: do not ask why questions but how questions)
Recession Depression
- Stay in the moment
- Take some action
(1) Laugh with friends
(2) Walk for exercise
(3) Listen to music
(4) Sleep (7 hours, 4 times a week)
(5) Keep a journal
How do people find you from marketing's’ perspective?
- Niche is a function of marketing. It’s not about confidence.
- Narrow it down for people to find me.
- Spend my time and energy to a target market. (A websites with different pages)
- Just do it!
What’s your advantage to the consumers?
- You have something in common
- I might look for somebody with that need
- We don’t have to know what they are doing. (I support people to see a bigger goal and take action to achieve it.)
They always know the how and what. We do not apply our knowledge but unearth the knowledge of them.
Broaden my circle and scope of coaching to see what would happen.
What are my confidence and what are my skills?
What makes a good coach?
A person who has common living experience could integrate and articulate those experience which shows up their giving.
What can I do or not do right now?
Make you more findable – with your name as the website’s name. ^^
Women want to be more powered. (Refer to Merci’s blog)
Rolling with Life’s punches
Life is
10% what happens to you
90% how you look at it
- Setbacks are temporary (Look with the inspirations)
- No one’s to blame (not why but get into how: do not ask why questions but how questions)
Recession Depression
- Stay in the moment
- Take some action
(1) Laugh with friends
(2) Walk for exercise
(3) Listen to music
(4) Sleep (7 hours, 4 times a week)
(5) Keep a journal
Community of practice – Life (2)
Facilitator: Merci Miglino
Is there any question about life coaching?
How to present coaching?
- Let audience experience coaching and explain it a little bit. Use the wheel of Life – Coaching tools (search from Mind tools.com) People want the experience to convince them and some take away. Toleration of a coach.
- Talk about strengths
- Coach.net: there are tools on it.
Exercise of “The Wheel of Life” (refer to “The Wheel of Life.doc”)
- Draw a circle with 8 dimensions
Define dimensions
- Roles in life
- Areas in life
- or a combination
Draw two circles (how much attention you want you pay on each dimension? From 1 to 10)
1. Expectation – ideal situation
2. Current situation
3. Find the gap between two circles
4. The gap could be discussed
5. Find the coaching moment in discussion for a further coaching relationship
Does your life look balanced? How do you notice on the wheel? What is the information you getting from your wheel? What is it showing you? How do you feel about it? Does it surprise you?
After several weeks, we could draw the wheel again and compare the difference.
When you look at the mind tool, they would lead to goal setting and action plan. How to get the balance of it? Where are you and where you wanna be?
For a group, we may also two people to share their life wheel and action plan.
The visual is a Wheel. Does your life wheel look and feel balanced. Look is one way and feel is another. A balance life does not mean you get 10 of each dimension. Some area would needs more attention.
Is there any question about life coaching?
How to present coaching?
- Let audience experience coaching and explain it a little bit. Use the wheel of Life – Coaching tools (search from Mind tools.com) People want the experience to convince them and some take away. Toleration of a coach.
- Talk about strengths
- Coach.net: there are tools on it.
Exercise of “The Wheel of Life” (refer to “The Wheel of Life.doc”)
- Draw a circle with 8 dimensions
Define dimensions
- Roles in life
- Areas in life
- or a combination
Draw two circles (how much attention you want you pay on each dimension? From 1 to 10)
1. Expectation – ideal situation
2. Current situation
3. Find the gap between two circles
4. The gap could be discussed
5. Find the coaching moment in discussion for a further coaching relationship
Does your life look balanced? How do you notice on the wheel? What is the information you getting from your wheel? What is it showing you? How do you feel about it? Does it surprise you?
After several weeks, we could draw the wheel again and compare the difference.
When you look at the mind tool, they would lead to goal setting and action plan. How to get the balance of it? Where are you and where you wanna be?
For a group, we may also two people to share their life wheel and action plan.
The visual is a Wheel. Does your life wheel look and feel balanced. Look is one way and feel is another. A balance life does not mean you get 10 of each dimension. Some area would needs more attention.
Community of practice – Life (1)
Facilitator: Merci Miglino
Q: Difficult to create a niche to be a valuable player/coach in the market. What kind of niche would be better for the “life coach”?
- I am a life coach and specialize in..(helping people mange and change their life.)
- I help people set their goals and support them to get there.
- Think about a slogan, such as “We will take care of you”.
- I help them move forward and go through the transition.
- Move someone from “good to great.”
Q: Niche should be aligned with the elevator speech?
- Yes, it would be better. Elevator speech is a marketing tool. You can coach anytime anywhere.
- Elevator speech is really about giving someone a snap shoot what do you do.
Q: What if you also work people who go through with change? Retire person and want another career.
- Health, career/work, geographical
Autobio:
I want to you know me, my approaches and who I am. Present my experience and education I have gone through. Talking about something I have went through of setting goals and achieving them.
Q: Difficult to create a niche to be a valuable player/coach in the market. What kind of niche would be better for the “life coach”?
- I am a life coach and specialize in..(helping people mange and change their life.)
- I help people set their goals and support them to get there.
- Think about a slogan, such as “We will take care of you”.
- I help them move forward and go through the transition.
- Move someone from “good to great.”
Q: Niche should be aligned with the elevator speech?
- Yes, it would be better. Elevator speech is a marketing tool. You can coach anytime anywhere.
- Elevator speech is really about giving someone a snap shoot what do you do.
Q: What if you also work people who go through with change? Retire person and want another career.
- Health, career/work, geographical
Autobio:
I want to you know me, my approaches and who I am. Present my experience and education I have gone through. Talking about something I have went through of setting goals and achieving them.
Coaching Business Building (2)
Facilitator: Linda Anderson
2009/7/24: 6-7 pm
(4) I am struggle in finding the equal balance between training and coaching
Q: Which energizer you more? Coaching or training?
Q: Whether he could like to mix both or one period of time for one business?
Q: How does the training support coaching? How does the coaching support training?
Q: What part do you enjoy most in coaching? What parts do you enjoy most in training?
Q: Can you imagine your balance your business balance and you have the balance, what do you feel like?
I could find these questions before. These questions allow me to review and answer the questions.
How do you build your business now?
(5) Create business by holding seminar
Q: What is your strategy to make the people come to the seminar?
- I have many children and I know many people. It works by mouth of words.
- I run the first seminar and it worked very well.
Q: Do you follow up with teleclass or face to face workshop?
- Online I did not do any thing. I just meet people
(6) Leave potential clients with several options. Phone coaching, e-mail coaching, face to face coaching and discussion board on coaching.
There is a book useful for me to start my business – “Multiple coaching income” (Andrea J. Lee)
To create a big picture of your business funnel
- Having a product funnel
- Find a lot of people first
- Find something interesting related to all people
Closing
What is the one thing you would like to commit of building business? to move forward? What was the most valuable thing to you in this class tonight?
2009/7/24: 6-7 pm
(4) I am struggle in finding the equal balance between training and coaching
Q: Which energizer you more? Coaching or training?
Q: Whether he could like to mix both or one period of time for one business?
Q: How does the training support coaching? How does the coaching support training?
Q: What part do you enjoy most in coaching? What parts do you enjoy most in training?
Q: Can you imagine your balance your business balance and you have the balance, what do you feel like?
I could find these questions before. These questions allow me to review and answer the questions.
How do you build your business now?
(5) Create business by holding seminar
Q: What is your strategy to make the people come to the seminar?
- I have many children and I know many people. It works by mouth of words.
- I run the first seminar and it worked very well.
Q: Do you follow up with teleclass or face to face workshop?
- Online I did not do any thing. I just meet people
(6) Leave potential clients with several options. Phone coaching, e-mail coaching, face to face coaching and discussion board on coaching.
There is a book useful for me to start my business – “Multiple coaching income” (Andrea J. Lee)
To create a big picture of your business funnel
- Having a product funnel
- Find a lot of people first
- Find something interesting related to all people
Closing
What is the one thing you would like to commit of building business? to move forward? What was the most valuable thing to you in this class tonight?
Coaching Business Building (1)
Facilitator Linda Anderson
2009/7/24: 6-7 pm
Opening
Take a moment to stay quietly to think of what is your intention and what do you want to experience in today’s session?
Take a moment to consider what’s your energy attention right now to your business building?
(1) How to use research project related to business (building) related tool?
Q: What is the benefit of doing that to you?
Q: What challenges do you have to take that approach?
- You could post your research paper on the discussion board for feedback and comments
(2) I want to change my website to be more client-orientation and focused. I want to show client of what is unique of my coaching for them.
(Let’s play the game “Coaching Question Game” and invite all participants to ask Marry questions to support her with this topic)
Q: What is your purpose in coaching?
Q: If you were a client of yourself, what are you looking for from your website?
Q: If you are looking at the website, what it appeals to you or attracts you?
Q: What do you value yourself as a coach? What are your strengths?
Q: If you ask others what are your strengths, what would they describe you?
Marry what to search other’s website to see how do they do and find out the answers for her journey to build the website.
(3) What to put on the written commercial materials to attract clients to take the the action to have the trial session?
Q: What problem for your to offer the solution?
Q: What make it easy for someone to say yes?
Q: Who are your target markets? How familiar are you with them?
The second question is very interesting and make them feel comfortable and easy website bottom to say yes and reply to me.
Do I meet my intention I create today? Why and why not? What action I could take to meet my intention?
2009/9/8
網路故事~新龜兔賽跑 (文章轉載)
同事跟我分享了這篇文章
用故事說道理 簡單易懂
想跟大家分享
不知道作者是誰呢?
Cheers,
Tina
===================
從前，有一隻烏龜和一隻兔子在互相爭辯誰跑得快。他們決定來一場比賽分高下，選定了路線，就此起跑。兔子帶頭衝出，奔馳了一陣子，眼看它已遙遙領先烏龜，心想，它可以在樹下坐一會兒，放鬆一下，然後再繼續比賽。兔子很快地在樹下就睡著了，而一路上笨手笨腳走來的烏龜則超越過它，不一會兒完成比賽，成為貨真價實的冠軍。 等兔子一覺醒來，才發覺它輸了。"這個故事給我們的啟示是：緩慢且持續的人會贏得比賽。"這是從小伴隨我們長大的龜兔賽跑故事的版本。
但最近有人告訴筆者一個更有趣的版本。
故事這麼連續下去。兔子當然因輸了比賽而倍感失望，為此他做了些缺失預防工作（根本原因解析）。它很清楚，失敗是因它太有信心，大意，以及散漫。如果它不要自認一切都是理所當然的，烏龜是不可能打敗它的。因此，它單挑烏龜再來另一場比賽，而烏龜也同意。這次，兔子全力以赴，從頭到尾，一口氣跑完，領先烏龜好幾公里。"這故事的有什麼啟示？動作快且前後一致的人將可勝過緩慢且持續的人。如果在你的工作單位有兩個人，一個緩慢，按部就班，且可靠，另一個則是動作快，且辦事還算牢靠，那麼動作快且牢靠的人會在組織中一直往上爬，陞遷的速度比那緩慢且按部就班辦事的人快。"緩慢且持續固然很好，但動作快且牢靠則更勝一籌。
這故事還沒完沒了。
這下輪到烏龜要好好檢討，它很清楚，照目前的比賽方法，它不可能擊敗兔子。它想了一會兒，然後單挑兔子再來另一場比賽，但是是在另一條稍許不同的路線上。兔子同意，然後兩者同時出發。為了確保自己立下的承諾－從頭到尾要一直快速前進，兔子飛馳而出，極速奔跑，直到碰到一條寬闊的河流。而比賽的終點就在幾公里外的河對面。兔子呆坐在那裡，一時不知怎麼辦。這時候，烏龜卻一路跚跚而來，撩入河裡，游到對岸，繼續爬行，完成比賽。"這故事的有什麼啟示？首先，辨識出你的核心競爭力，然後改變遊戲場所以適應（發揮）你的核心競爭力。在你的工作單位，如果你是一個能言善道的人，一定要想法創造機會，好好表現自己，以便讓層峰注意到你。如果你的優勢是從事分析工作，那麼你一定要做一些研究，寫一個報告，然後呈送上樓。依著自己的優勢(專長)來工作，不僅會讓上頭的人注意到你，也會創造成長和進步的機會。"
故事還沒結束。
這下子，兔子和烏龜成了惺惺相惜的好朋友。它們一起檢討，兩個都很清楚，在上一次的比賽中，它們可以表現得更好。所以，他們決定再賽一場，但這次是同隊合作。它們一起出發，這次可是兔子扛著烏龜，直到河邊。在那裡，烏龜接手，背著兔子過河。到了河對岸，兔子再次扛著烏龜，兩個一起抵達終點。比起前次，它們都感受到一種更大的成就感。"這故事的有什麼啟示？個人表現優異與擁有堅強的核心競爭力固然不錯，但除非你能在一個團隊內（與別人）同心協力，並掌控彼此間的核心競爭力，否則你的表現將永遠在標準之下，因為總有一些狀況下，你是技不如人，而別人卻幹得蠻團隊合作主要就是有關情境（權變）領導這檔事，讓具備處理某一情境能力（核心競爭力）的人當家做主。"
從這故事，我們可以學到更多我們了解，在遭逢失敗後，兔子和烏龜都沒有就此放棄。兔子決定更拼，並且投入更多的努力。在盡了全力之後，烏龜則選擇改變策略。在人的一生中，當失敗臨頭時，有時我們需更加努力。有時則需改變策略，嘗試不同的抉擇。有時候，兩者都要一起來。兔子和烏龜也學到了最關鍵的一課。當我們不再與競爭對手較力，而開始逐鹿某一情境時，我們會表現得更好。
1980年代，當古茲維塔接掌可口可樂執行長時，他面對的是百事可樂的激烈競爭，可口可樂的市場成長正被它蠶食掉。古茲維塔手下的那些管理者，把焦點全灌注在百事可樂身上，一心一意只想著一次增長百分之零點一的市場佔有率。古茲維塔決定停止與百事可樂的競爭，而改與百分之零點一的成長此一情境角逐。他問起美國人一天的平均液態食品消耗量為多少？答案是十四盎斯。可口可樂在其中有多少？答案是兩盎斯。古茲維塔說，可口可樂需要在那塊市場做大佔有率。我們的競爭對象不是百事可樂，要是佔掉市場剩餘十二盎司的水、茶、咖啡、牛奶及果汁。當大家想要喝一點什麼時，應該是去找可口可樂。為達此目的，可口可樂在每一街頭擺上販賣機，銷售量因此節節上升，百事可樂從此再也追趕不上。
結論：龜兔賽跑的故事啟發我們良多。
最重要的是：動作快且前後一致的人總是勝過緩慢且持續的人；依著自己的優勢(專長)來工作；結合所有的資源且團隊合作的人，總是打敗單打獨鬥者；面對失敗時，絕不輕言放棄；最後，與某一情境競爭，而不是限定某對手。
用故事說道理 簡單易懂
想跟大家分享
不知道作者是誰呢?
Cheers,
Tina
===================
從前，有一隻烏龜和一隻兔子在互相爭辯誰跑得快。他們決定來一場比賽分高下，選定了路線，就此起跑。兔子帶頭衝出，奔馳了一陣子，眼看它已遙遙領先烏龜，心想，它可以在樹下坐一會兒，放鬆一下，然後再繼續比賽。兔子很快地在樹下就睡著了，而一路上笨手笨腳走來的烏龜則超越過它，不一會兒完成比賽，成為貨真價實的冠軍。 等兔子一覺醒來，才發覺它輸了。"這個故事給我們的啟示是：緩慢且持續的人會贏得比賽。"這是從小伴隨我們長大的龜兔賽跑故事的版本。
但最近有人告訴筆者一個更有趣的版本。
故事這麼連續下去。兔子當然因輸了比賽而倍感失望，為此他做了些缺失預防工作（根本原因解析）。它很清楚，失敗是因它太有信心，大意，以及散漫。如果它不要自認一切都是理所當然的，烏龜是不可能打敗它的。因此，它單挑烏龜再來另一場比賽，而烏龜也同意。這次，兔子全力以赴，從頭到尾，一口氣跑完，領先烏龜好幾公里。"這故事的有什麼啟示？動作快且前後一致的人將可勝過緩慢且持續的人。如果在你的工作單位有兩個人，一個緩慢，按部就班，且可靠，另一個則是動作快，且辦事還算牢靠，那麼動作快且牢靠的人會在組織中一直往上爬，陞遷的速度比那緩慢且按部就班辦事的人快。"緩慢且持續固然很好，但動作快且牢靠則更勝一籌。
這故事還沒完沒了。
這下輪到烏龜要好好檢討，它很清楚，照目前的比賽方法，它不可能擊敗兔子。它想了一會兒，然後單挑兔子再來另一場比賽，但是是在另一條稍許不同的路線上。兔子同意，然後兩者同時出發。為了確保自己立下的承諾－從頭到尾要一直快速前進，兔子飛馳而出，極速奔跑，直到碰到一條寬闊的河流。而比賽的終點就在幾公里外的河對面。兔子呆坐在那裡，一時不知怎麼辦。這時候，烏龜卻一路跚跚而來，撩入河裡，游到對岸，繼續爬行，完成比賽。"這故事的有什麼啟示？首先，辨識出你的核心競爭力，然後改變遊戲場所以適應（發揮）你的核心競爭力。在你的工作單位，如果你是一個能言善道的人，一定要想法創造機會，好好表現自己，以便讓層峰注意到你。如果你的優勢是從事分析工作，那麼你一定要做一些研究，寫一個報告，然後呈送上樓。依著自己的優勢(專長)來工作，不僅會讓上頭的人注意到你，也會創造成長和進步的機會。"
故事還沒結束。
這下子，兔子和烏龜成了惺惺相惜的好朋友。它們一起檢討，兩個都很清楚，在上一次的比賽中，它們可以表現得更好。所以，他們決定再賽一場，但這次是同隊合作。它們一起出發，這次可是兔子扛著烏龜，直到河邊。在那裡，烏龜接手，背著兔子過河。到了河對岸，兔子再次扛著烏龜，兩個一起抵達終點。比起前次，它們都感受到一種更大的成就感。"這故事的有什麼啟示？個人表現優異與擁有堅強的核心競爭力固然不錯，但除非你能在一個團隊內（與別人）同心協力，並掌控彼此間的核心競爭力，否則你的表現將永遠在標準之下，因為總有一些狀況下，你是技不如人，而別人卻幹得蠻團隊合作主要就是有關情境（權變）領導這檔事，讓具備處理某一情境能力（核心競爭力）的人當家做主。"
從這故事，我們可以學到更多我們了解，在遭逢失敗後，兔子和烏龜都沒有就此放棄。兔子決定更拼，並且投入更多的努力。在盡了全力之後，烏龜則選擇改變策略。在人的一生中，當失敗臨頭時，有時我們需更加努力。有時則需改變策略，嘗試不同的抉擇。有時候，兩者都要一起來。兔子和烏龜也學到了最關鍵的一課。當我們不再與競爭對手較力，而開始逐鹿某一情境時，我們會表現得更好。
1980年代，當古茲維塔接掌可口可樂執行長時，他面對的是百事可樂的激烈競爭，可口可樂的市場成長正被它蠶食掉。古茲維塔手下的那些管理者，把焦點全灌注在百事可樂身上，一心一意只想著一次增長百分之零點一的市場佔有率。古茲維塔決定停止與百事可樂的競爭，而改與百分之零點一的成長此一情境角逐。他問起美國人一天的平均液態食品消耗量為多少？答案是十四盎斯。可口可樂在其中有多少？答案是兩盎斯。古茲維塔說，可口可樂需要在那塊市場做大佔有率。我們的競爭對象不是百事可樂，要是佔掉市場剩餘十二盎司的水、茶、咖啡、牛奶及果汁。當大家想要喝一點什麼時，應該是去找可口可樂。為達此目的，可口可樂在每一街頭擺上販賣機，銷售量因此節節上升，百事可樂從此再也追趕不上。
結論：龜兔賽跑的故事啟發我們良多。
最重要的是：動作快且前後一致的人總是勝過緩慢且持續的人；依著自己的優勢(專長)來工作；結合所有的資源且團隊合作的人，總是打敗單打獨鬥者；面對失敗時，絕不輕言放棄；最後，與某一情境競爭，而不是限定某對手。
PT109 - Action vs. Delay (2)
Facilitator: Isabelle King
2009/7/27 & 8/3
Have someone volunteer to be coached for one of the listed item.
Q: What don’t you tell me what you would like to be coached this morning?
A – Delaying in peer coaching as a client or a coach.
Q: Have you done anything yet in that regard?
Q: Is there any particular reasons that you haven’t done any of those things?
Q: What motions do you feel when you take that action?
Q: Have you come up any ideas or strategies that you could find the client in the business fields that you are familiar with?
Q: Do you feel it might be helpful to write down things that you could like to tell them?
Q: Do you have anything in mind that you want to write down on that list?
Q: Would you be delivering those in brochure or you are just telling them?
Q: Where could you get the list of those business people?
Q: It seems that you know pretty much what to do. Do you think it’s helpful for you to write down an action plan today?
Q: Would you like to tell me your immediate plan to get two peer clients?
Q: How about your external clients? What action you would take to find them?
Q: That sounds like a very exciting plan.
Feedforward from
- He was dancing around but she challenges him in a gentle way.
- It’s an acknowledgement when asking client “what have you done?”
- Ask the reason why the actions not be taken. (UAC)
- Help him brainstorm some action that he could take. She does not focus on what he does not want to do and discuss about what could he do?
- She asked his actions about his delay.
Hard cookie
- Stubborn and determined kid.
Fieldwork:
When you take the action (small actions) for things you are delaying, there would be a new awareness or new circumstances in the process for you.
2009/7/27 & 8/3
Have someone volunteer to be coached for one of the listed item.
Q: What don’t you tell me what you would like to be coached this morning?
A – Delaying in peer coaching as a client or a coach.
Q: Have you done anything yet in that regard?
Q: Is there any particular reasons that you haven’t done any of those things?
Q: What motions do you feel when you take that action?
Q: Have you come up any ideas or strategies that you could find the client in the business fields that you are familiar with?
Q: Do you feel it might be helpful to write down things that you could like to tell them?
Q: Do you have anything in mind that you want to write down on that list?
Q: Would you be delivering those in brochure or you are just telling them?
Q: Where could you get the list of those business people?
Q: It seems that you know pretty much what to do. Do you think it’s helpful for you to write down an action plan today?
Q: Would you like to tell me your immediate plan to get two peer clients?
Q: How about your external clients? What action you would take to find them?
Q: That sounds like a very exciting plan.
Feedforward from
- He was dancing around but she challenges him in a gentle way.
- It’s an acknowledgement when asking client “what have you done?”
- Ask the reason why the actions not be taken. (UAC)
- Help him brainstorm some action that he could take. She does not focus on what he does not want to do and discuss about what could he do?
- She asked his actions about his delay.
Hard cookie
- Stubborn and determined kid.
Fieldwork:
When you take the action (small actions) for things you are delaying, there would be a new awareness or new circumstances in the process for you.
PT109 - Action vs. Delay (1)
Facilitator: Isabelle King
2009/7/27 & 8/3
Exercise
Write down three things you are delaying in your life right now.
- Having babies
- Taking a real break
- Volunteer work
What is the difference between the lists of delay and priority?
- It is not that one perspective is better than the other one, but one is more powerful than the other one.
How do you recognize that you are delaying?
- There are so many actions I am taking now in my life, so the delay happens when I prioritize the things. However, the delay might be the item is not needed to be done right away.
Is there any pattern that you delay?
- When things are out off my comfort zone – unpleasant or not fun (mainly I don’t like change)
- When it does not involve anyone else.
- When only I am the only responsible person for the work, I could consciously delay and ask others to join the work.
- When I am confident that there is no immediate urgency, so I would delay it for a while and than take the action before the deadline.
Reasons for delay
- Fear, not knowing where to started, not having it before, become to significant about something.
PT108 - Game vs Significance
Facilitator: Sherry Read
2009/5/13 & 5/20
It’s about changing perspectives.
Can we separate Significance from importance?
“I have to get this job.” - When we get that significance, are we really acting in truth?
When we talk about game, we are not making fun of it. We just try to find another way to perceive and get the desired result. (How do you lighten it up?)
My coaching session is like a game. It’s about making my client move forward. They win and I don’t loose.
“Game” breaks down barriers of movements and thoughts.
How do you turn “housework” into “game”?
- “I need her helping.” vs “How can I bring her alone?”
How to make an adult to get things done? How do we shift that mind?
Is there any reason why I can’t? Is there any reason why we can’t?
Games bring the energy, shift into energy.
Think about things I want, instead of I have to. It’s all about find the perspective that helpful. Open up new possibilities.
Where do yo think we could use this power tool in coaching?
Where could you find your client is getting into significance?
The game of finding clients
The game of attracting people
The game of achieving the goal
O.K., let’s see what would be going on? (What can I add in the list today that I have no idea what would happened?)
How do you change the rules to pull forward from stuck?
2009/5/13 & 5/20
It’s about changing perspectives.
Can we separate Significance from importance?
“I have to get this job.” - When we get that significance, are we really acting in truth?
When we talk about game, we are not making fun of it. We just try to find another way to perceive and get the desired result. (How do you lighten it up?)
My coaching session is like a game. It’s about making my client move forward. They win and I don’t loose.
“Game” breaks down barriers of movements and thoughts.
How do you turn “housework” into “game”?
- “I need her helping.” vs “How can I bring her alone?”
How to make an adult to get things done? How do we shift that mind?
Is there any reason why I can’t? Is there any reason why we can’t?
Games bring the energy, shift into energy.
Think about things I want, instead of I have to. It’s all about find the perspective that helpful. Open up new possibilities.
Where do yo think we could use this power tool in coaching?
Where could you find your client is getting into significance?
The game of finding clients
The game of attracting people
The game of achieving the goal
O.K., let’s see what would be going on? (What can I add in the list today that I have no idea what would happened?)
How do you change the rules to pull forward from stuck?
PT107 Truth vs. Fraud (3)
Facilitator: Prabha Chandrasekhar
2009/4/29 & 5/6
If we don’t speck of truth, what would be the outcome?
- We Cheer ourselves and others.
Why do we not tell the truth? Why?
- If it is that we want to avoid the conflicts, what could we ask our clients? (What are the negative or positive outcomes? What are the long term consequences of not telling the truth?) (How do you face and handle the truth when people tell the truth to you?)
How do we coach people to tell the truth wisely?
- Think about how to choose the word.
- Starting from looking at the questions of confrontation and looking into the intention. Do you intend to confront or not?
Help the person to release and believe the outcome of telling the truth even we cannot control another person’s responds. (In reality we cannot control the other person’s reaction.)
Do not lie in a relationship. Tell the truth as soon as possible. We should not mislead the situation. Telling the person at this moment, I am comfortable to be friends. (Own the power of your action and words, and be responsible for what you say and do.)
How do we help people pass fear? And move toward trust and released.
How to keep the feeling of compassion, trust and believe the other party?
Is it a right thing to do “withhold”?
- Before you answer this question yourself or tell a person the truth. We need to think of the possible reaction/outcome of the clients. If we could control the situation, we could tell the truth. On the other way, I might tell a story to test the person. Tell the truth step by step.
- Test with a little question first to see if they are ready for the truth.
- I would help my client to find their own truth on their own first by using questions and reflections. It’s more powerful than that I tell the truth to them.
2009/4/29 & 5/6
If we don’t speck of truth, what would be the outcome?
- We Cheer ourselves and others.
Why do we not tell the truth? Why?
- If it is that we want to avoid the conflicts, what could we ask our clients? (What are the negative or positive outcomes? What are the long term consequences of not telling the truth?) (How do you face and handle the truth when people tell the truth to you?)
How do we coach people to tell the truth wisely?
- Think about how to choose the word.
- Starting from looking at the questions of confrontation and looking into the intention. Do you intend to confront or not?
Help the person to release and believe the outcome of telling the truth even we cannot control another person’s responds. (In reality we cannot control the other person’s reaction.)
Do not lie in a relationship. Tell the truth as soon as possible. We should not mislead the situation. Telling the person at this moment, I am comfortable to be friends. (Own the power of your action and words, and be responsible for what you say and do.)
How do we help people pass fear? And move toward trust and released.
How to keep the feeling of compassion, trust and believe the other party?
Is it a right thing to do “withhold”?
- Before you answer this question yourself or tell a person the truth. We need to think of the possible reaction/outcome of the clients. If we could control the situation, we could tell the truth. On the other way, I might tell a story to test the person. Tell the truth step by step.
- Test with a little question first to see if they are ready for the truth.
- I would help my client to find their own truth on their own first by using questions and reflections. It’s more powerful than that I tell the truth to them.
PT107 Truth vs. Fraud (2)
Facilitator: Prabha Chandrasekhar
2009/4/29 & 5/6
When we have a client who is going through from this (above), what kind of questions we could ask to bring their awareness and take care themselves?
- Why not tell the truth? What would happen if you tell the truth?
Sometimes we would assume that I was hurt by this before and I would not hurt the others with this. For example, when we were children and we told the truth but we got punished, so we decided not to tell the truth anymore. We are not adult now and we would not get punished. Ask them why they feel it that way. Ask them why it happen but tell them that they are a different person now. They need to think of themselves and take care of themselves. We have the choice now and every moment is a new opportunity.
I need to behave in certain way due to the social environment. What about this kind of client? How can we take them move forward?
- Ask them what stopping them to do so. What is holding them?
- What are the consequence if others listen to you without any assumption?
- If they listen to you without assumptions, what would you say?
“Do you know who you are when you are the true self?”
Ask the question and ask client how they feel and how they are in that situation (give them sometime), and then ask they want stop them to be that person.
Do you think others are also hiding information from you? How would this help the process?
- The other person withholds the information to me and I don’t trust them. They lose the trust from me. It could bring up the awareness.
- Ask “How would you see the person if you withhold the information?”
As a coach, how can we help the manager of the company to see what’s happening. (A company to be merged)
- Make sure the information going to employee are truthful, even there’s a risk.
- What would the management get in return? (cooperation, trust)
Being truthful, trust is the biggest winner even it’s difficult. Because truth help the person know what’s the real situation.
2009/4/29 & 5/6
When we have a client who is going through from this (above), what kind of questions we could ask to bring their awareness and take care themselves?
- Why not tell the truth? What would happen if you tell the truth?
Sometimes we would assume that I was hurt by this before and I would not hurt the others with this. For example, when we were children and we told the truth but we got punished, so we decided not to tell the truth anymore. We are not adult now and we would not get punished. Ask them why they feel it that way. Ask them why it happen but tell them that they are a different person now. They need to think of themselves and take care of themselves. We have the choice now and every moment is a new opportunity.
I need to behave in certain way due to the social environment. What about this kind of client? How can we take them move forward?
- Ask them what stopping them to do so. What is holding them?
- What are the consequence if others listen to you without any assumption?
- If they listen to you without assumptions, what would you say?
“Do you know who you are when you are the true self?”
Ask the question and ask client how they feel and how they are in that situation (give them sometime), and then ask they want stop them to be that person.
Do you think others are also hiding information from you? How would this help the process?
- The other person withholds the information to me and I don’t trust them. They lose the trust from me. It could bring up the awareness.
- Ask “How would you see the person if you withhold the information?”
As a coach, how can we help the manager of the company to see what’s happening. (A company to be merged)
- Make sure the information going to employee are truthful, even there’s a risk.
- What would the management get in return? (cooperation, trust)
Being truthful, trust is the biggest winner even it’s difficult. Because truth help the person know what’s the real situation.
PT107 Truth vs. Fraud (1)
Facilitator: Prabha Chandrasekhar 2009/4/29 & 5/6
What is truth?
- live aligning with my valuing, honor myself
- self-awareness, my perspective is truthful to myself, why and how I feel
- transparent, not hiding omitting
What is fraud?
- We know that information but we know that if we share we might get hurt and then we hide it, would that be a fraud? Yes.
- Withhold information and they get a better deal and the other person losses out, would that be fraud also?
What you are working with truth, how do you know that this tool could help the client? Why people want to stay away from truth?
- When the client does not want to hurt or disappoint the others. Or they would be looked down and not be accepted.
- When they don’t want to take the responsibility might happened
- When they don’t want to be blamed
- What they don’t trust or have doubt, they don’t tell the truth.
When the above situation happens, is it possible there is a UAC?
Do you think we have a choice?
- We do have a choice but we need to balance the practical goal.
- We need to know what our boundaries are (how far I would go for it? What are the consequences?), and we could decide how we behave in different situation.
What if we are not treated truthfully and we do not feel comfortable, how could we take care of ourselves? What do we need to do and coach ourselves for that?
- Forgive myself, I have done my best and prepare to what might happen in future again.
What is truth?
- live aligning with my valuing, honor myself
- self-awareness, my perspective is truthful to myself, why and how I feel
- transparent, not hiding omitting
What is fraud?
- We know that information but we know that if we share we might get hurt and then we hide it, would that be a fraud? Yes.
- Withhold information and they get a better deal and the other person losses out, would that be fraud also?
What you are working with truth, how do you know that this tool could help the client? Why people want to stay away from truth?
- When the client does not want to hurt or disappoint the others. Or they would be looked down and not be accepted.
- When they don’t want to take the responsibility might happened
- When they don’t want to be blamed
- What they don’t trust or have doubt, they don’t tell the truth.
When the above situation happens, is it possible there is a UAC?
Do you think we have a choice?
- We do have a choice but we need to balance the practical goal.
- We need to know what our boundaries are (how far I would go for it? What are the consequences?), and we could decide how we behave in different situation.
What if we are not treated truthfully and we do not feel comfortable, how could we take care of ourselves? What do we need to do and coach ourselves for that?
- Forgive myself, I have done my best and prepare to what might happen in future again.
PT103 - Responsibility vs. Blame (2)
Facilitator: Isabelle King
2009/8/24 & 8/31
Look back the situation, what are the effects of that situation when you were blaming?
- It’s all about me. Offensive
- Cause anxiety
- No true dialogue
Opposite Exercise: a time you took the responsibility, what supported you to take responsibility? (It does not mean that, “It’s all my faults.”)
- Change perspectives
- Humbleness to review ourselves
- Support from books, tools, or others
- Review our expectation: What are my expectations here?
- Look at the situation objectively
If you are working with clients, what do you want to make sure there to support them?
- Honest feedback (based on facts but not compassion)
Example of dancing
- With each dancing partners, most of time they are in blame mode of what did you do that? But someone take responsibility, they would just move on and enjoy the moment
There are more opportunities to learn and joyment when are take responsible. When are take responsibility, we also give others opportunities to take responsibility. We would be more proactive to control the situation.
Blaming just keeps us in the past.
Can you think of any benefits brought by blame? Blame would create boundary.
Exercise
What do you notice the major differences when you take responsibility and when you are blaming in your life? What could we put in place to go forward and set ourselves free?
Think of something that we could prevent blaming. Stop taking too much, review the expectation.
2009/8/24 & 8/31
Look back the situation, what are the effects of that situation when you were blaming?
- It’s all about me. Offensive
- Cause anxiety
- No true dialogue
Opposite Exercise: a time you took the responsibility, what supported you to take responsibility? (It does not mean that, “It’s all my faults.”)
- Change perspectives
- Humbleness to review ourselves
- Support from books, tools, or others
- Review our expectation: What are my expectations here?
- Look at the situation objectively
If you are working with clients, what do you want to make sure there to support them?
- Honest feedback (based on facts but not compassion)
Example of dancing
- With each dancing partners, most of time they are in blame mode of what did you do that? But someone take responsibility, they would just move on and enjoy the moment
There are more opportunities to learn and joyment when are take responsible. When are take responsibility, we also give others opportunities to take responsibility. We would be more proactive to control the situation.
Blaming just keeps us in the past.
Can you think of any benefits brought by blame? Blame would create boundary.
Exercise
What do you notice the major differences when you take responsibility and when you are blaming in your life? What could we put in place to go forward and set ourselves free?
Think of something that we could prevent blaming. Stop taking too much, review the expectation.
PT103 - Responsibility vs. Blame (1)
Facilitator: Isabelle King
2009/8/24 & 8/31
Provide many different perspectives of situation to bring up the awareness of role at current job.
What are the things were asked or done that helped client to take responsibility?
- How long is the program and how far she still have to go to bring up the issue of time investment
- Bridging her passion in coaching and her job
- Ask clarifying question at the beginning to help client reframe the situation
- Use her skills that work
- What she needs to motivate herself?
- Who else could inspire or motivate you?
- Validation from our work that we could ask someone from our work to acknowledge our contribution.
What questions that we could use for people are blaming?
- How can you move forward?
- How to reframe the perspective by asking what would happen if you are 100% responsible or irresponsible for the situation?
- Ask things that they can control for change?
- Do you have the choice about it (health, relationship…etc.)?
- What are the other ways to do about it?
What are some key words, when you try to define these two words to yourself?
- Blame: Other’s responsibility. Responsibility: my accountability
When you are in blame mode, you are not in action?
What are the signs that when you are being responsible are when you are blaming?
Responsible: I take the ownership. I have freedom to find the way out.
Blame:
- Let the control by the others’ hand. “You didn’t” example (when we say): Didn’t you get my e-mail? Didn’t someone tell you? Didn’t you hear that?
- No one told me. I didn’t know that.
We need to ask ourselves first, could I make sure that it may by my responsibility. (E.g. Do you understand? Am I clear?)
Exercise: think of a time, you are in blame mode? What is the situation about? What did you do? What made it so? What were the expectations that you had that were not filled? What judgment or believe you had to yourself or others?
- When we feel hurt and have no clue what’s going on, we would be easy get into blame mode.
- Passengers expect that airlines should bring the luggage on time. When they don’t not get the luggage, they blame the airline.
- Two people blame on another and o not take the responsibility to solve the issue.
2009/8/24 & 8/31
Provide many different perspectives of situation to bring up the awareness of role at current job.
What are the things were asked or done that helped client to take responsibility?
- How long is the program and how far she still have to go to bring up the issue of time investment
- Bridging her passion in coaching and her job
- Ask clarifying question at the beginning to help client reframe the situation
- Use her skills that work
- What she needs to motivate herself?
- Who else could inspire or motivate you?
- Validation from our work that we could ask someone from our work to acknowledge our contribution.
What questions that we could use for people are blaming?
- How can you move forward?
- How to reframe the perspective by asking what would happen if you are 100% responsible or irresponsible for the situation?
- Ask things that they can control for change?
- Do you have the choice about it (health, relationship…etc.)?
- What are the other ways to do about it?
What are some key words, when you try to define these two words to yourself?
- Blame: Other’s responsibility. Responsibility: my accountability
When you are in blame mode, you are not in action?
What are the signs that when you are being responsible are when you are blaming?
Responsible: I take the ownership. I have freedom to find the way out.
Blame:
- Let the control by the others’ hand. “You didn’t” example (when we say): Didn’t you get my e-mail? Didn’t someone tell you? Didn’t you hear that?
- No one told me. I didn’t know that.
We need to ask ourselves first, could I make sure that it may by my responsibility. (E.g. Do you understand? Am I clear?)
Exercise: think of a time, you are in blame mode? What is the situation about? What did you do? What made it so? What were the expectations that you had that were not filled? What judgment or believe you had to yourself or others?
- When we feel hurt and have no clue what’s going on, we would be easy get into blame mode.
- Passengers expect that airlines should bring the luggage on time. When they don’t not get the luggage, they blame the airline.
- Two people blame on another and o not take the responsibility to solve the issue.
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