Facilitator: Sherry Read
2009/3/16 & 23
Challenge: stretches the clients from comfort zone, while
Request: actually moves client to some direction.
What is powerful request?
- Challenging people to move beyond their UAC
- Help prepare the person to move somewhere that they need a little pressure to the direction, the direction they want
- It should be always something that they are doing for themselves
Bold request must be the resource from client, not from a coach. It must be something clients mentioned or said. (Where is that bold request coming from? Could it turn on the light to the clients?) If we do not make the request from clients, it turns on establish the clients’ feeling of failure because they could not make it. They just try but not commit to it. It is powerful when the requests come from clients.
Clients do what they need to do to move forward. It could be challenging for them to move out the comfort zone, but this action could come along with growth or learning. Sometimes the request does not get done by the clients. It is not necessary if the clients really do it, because the powerful request could provide some new reflections and new directions of the coaching session or discussion.
How do you structure your bold request at beginning, middle and the end?
Begin – prepare the clients, ask for the permission
Middle – further discussion, why possible or not possible?
End – put on the schedule for client’s action plan
*******************************************
When we talk about powerful request
- we ask permission
- we prepare our clients
- clients could say “no”
How to prepare to make a powerful request? What would you imagine the things that you need to take into consideration to make a bold request? Is it O.K. to push forward?
- Whether is it realistic, achievable
- Something they would like to step forward (they feel comfortable)
- Break down the big (long-term) goal into small (short-term) goals
- Communicate around clients’ language, value and the ultimate goals
- Acknowledge of what you have done and ask for why not complete the rest?
What if the powerful request has been made, clients said O.K. but in the next week, they did not do anything about it?
- Whether I asked too much and adjust the request
Bold request needed to be aligned with the personal goals
- Revisit the goals to see if it’s really something they want
- How would you feel about accomplishing that goal and how about not achieving that goal?
What if they said it’s really want they want, give me one more week?
- I notice that you are carrying the goal but not making any progress.
What if clients’ have many excuses?
- Turning it back to them about their goal but not the bold request
- Goal mapping: the goal might come from outside pressure but not their real goals.
If a client says “I really do not want to achieve it. It is not my goal”, this is the achievement of self-awareness. Then we could open further discussion: what do you really want?
******************************************
Visualization of Love (10-15 minutes)
- Relax your entire body
- Think of a moment you feel completely loved
- Hold down that love to every part of your body
- Extending the love to people around you, everybody
- Make them feel the same way. Feeling the love like you
- Imagine the they give the love back to you
- They interact with love
- It’s a love circle
- Think of the different result (change) that everyone and you would have done in the future
2009/3/31
AC109 Creating Confidence
Facilitator: Sherry Read & Merci Miglino
2009/3/11, 18, 25: 1800-1900
Key Learning Points
Who you are? What you bring to the world of coaching even before you complete the certification? How do you show up as a coach? What do you want to do? What would you love to do? What led you here to coaching? How do we articulate that? What kind of structure that you want to put in coaching practice? Where do you want to coach? Figure out that what is your comfort level and pursuing that context of bio.
Meet the people who just get me in the minutes. These are people for you to coach. What is really “me - the authenticity of me”? Determine who I looking for and who might looking for me? Who do I think I would like to connect with?
You are the “delivery” of your service. When we hold back who we are, we are preventing connection. People want to know my story because it resume people’s past. People don’t want to know where you are right now; they wanna know just how much broken glasses you made through. People want to know the make over. They love to see what’s possible.
Coach - we are the agent of change.
I am here to serve. How could I serve you? I have a gift. I want my gift to meet the world. I am the product. Clients want to see my picture to make them want to talk to me. I am what I am trying to serve to people. I want an inviting photo to invite people to want to contact me. People are very visual people. We connect visually. 70% of the population in the world is visual.
****************************************
Confidence could free us for the pressure of success and with broad way of success. Coaching is to stretch ourselves from our comfort zone to our possibility. It’s about learning and growth, which brought a broader measure of success. It’s not necessarily always steps forward. Sometimes, we may move two steps forward and one step back. Compassion could maintain our confidence.
About begin to write the bio
Q1: What is the most important thing I want people to know about me?
Q2: What is the second most important thing I want people to know about me?
Q3: What is the third most important thing I want people to know about me?
Q4: How do you write the bio reflecting the three most important thing of yourself?
Q5: What are the facts reflecting the three things that you just wrote down?
2009/3/11, 18, 25: 1800-1900
Key Learning Points
Who you are? What you bring to the world of coaching even before you complete the certification? How do you show up as a coach? What do you want to do? What would you love to do? What led you here to coaching? How do we articulate that? What kind of structure that you want to put in coaching practice? Where do you want to coach? Figure out that what is your comfort level and pursuing that context of bio.
Meet the people who just get me in the minutes. These are people for you to coach. What is really “me - the authenticity of me”? Determine who I looking for and who might looking for me? Who do I think I would like to connect with?
You are the “delivery” of your service. When we hold back who we are, we are preventing connection. People want to know my story because it resume people’s past. People don’t want to know where you are right now; they wanna know just how much broken glasses you made through. People want to know the make over. They love to see what’s possible.
Coach - we are the agent of change.
I am here to serve. How could I serve you? I have a gift. I want my gift to meet the world. I am the product. Clients want to see my picture to make them want to talk to me. I am what I am trying to serve to people. I want an inviting photo to invite people to want to contact me. People are very visual people. We connect visually. 70% of the population in the world is visual.
****************************************
Confidence could free us for the pressure of success and with broad way of success. Coaching is to stretch ourselves from our comfort zone to our possibility. It’s about learning and growth, which brought a broader measure of success. It’s not necessarily always steps forward. Sometimes, we may move two steps forward and one step back. Compassion could maintain our confidence.
About begin to write the bio
Q1: What is the most important thing I want people to know about me?
Q2: What is the second most important thing I want people to know about me?
Q3: What is the third most important thing I want people to know about me?
Q4: How do you write the bio reflecting the three most important thing of yourself?
Q5: What are the facts reflecting the three things that you just wrote down?
AC107 Coaching Model
Facilitator: Nick Bosk
2009/3/11, 18 & 25: 2100-2200
Figure out your niches and find the common theme you do your coaching session. Then you find your niche market and the coaching model. Prepare a list of milestone before the coaching session and review what you did in the coaching session. Your clients do not care about your coaching model. They only care about moving from point A to point B.
Coaching model is guidance when flexibility is needed for different clients. We might change our coaching model often when we do the coaching process. What do you do in the coaching session would come up your coaching model. Observe our three milestones (structure) in the coaching session: the beginning, in the middle, and the wrap up. Then we could come up our coaching model. You could show your clients the coaching model in the trail session to let them have a picture.
Our coaching models are given to us. It is what is true to who we are. Understanding who you are in a person (gone through self-discovery). Creating something that reflects who you are.
What do you do as a coach? Make sure the websites describe who you are.
Q: Are there a set or process that we need to include in the coaching model? Should I have a model to start?
- develop the model with peer coaching practice
- there are many coaching models and we could take them as references and modify them for our own
- a lot of coaching model come from the way you coach and how you work / your personality
- allow the flow of the coaching session and figure out
2009/3/11, 18 & 25: 2100-2200
Figure out your niches and find the common theme you do your coaching session. Then you find your niche market and the coaching model. Prepare a list of milestone before the coaching session and review what you did in the coaching session. Your clients do not care about your coaching model. They only care about moving from point A to point B.
Coaching model is guidance when flexibility is needed for different clients. We might change our coaching model often when we do the coaching process. What do you do in the coaching session would come up your coaching model. Observe our three milestones (structure) in the coaching session: the beginning, in the middle, and the wrap up. Then we could come up our coaching model. You could show your clients the coaching model in the trail session to let them have a picture.
Our coaching models are given to us. It is what is true to who we are. Understanding who you are in a person (gone through self-discovery). Creating something that reflects who you are.
What do you do as a coach? Make sure the websites describe who you are.
Q: Are there a set or process that we need to include in the coaching model? Should I have a model to start?
- develop the model with peer coaching practice
- there are many coaching models and we could take them as references and modify them for our own
- a lot of coaching model come from the way you coach and how you work / your personality
- allow the flow of the coaching session and figure out
2009/3/17
AC108 Coaching Process - Part II
Facilitator: Sherry Read & Merci Miglino
2009/2/11, 18, 25 & 3/4: 1900-2000
The quitting zone
- Clients are really doubt the goals and themselves to move forward.
What's going on with the client in the quitting zone?
- Doubts come in; question whether they want or achieve that goal; fear of success or failure;
Client would be doubt always in the coaching process, but what really get them to say "never mind" and quit?
- Bigger than doubt, but they shift the idea of who they are (their identity).
- It is not comfortable to do things from unconsciously to consciously but not confident.
- They miss the comfort zone before.
Why it is so hard?
- How other people in their lives would influence them.
- Become a participant than creator. Now I have to do something.
- Have no more excuses of not doing it.
- Your brain, identity, fears of feelings, and expectation from outside are pushing back.
Think of a moment that you pushed through to achieve the goal, what did you do to make it happened?
- Courage; connection with the belief of what is in the other side.
- What's the worst scenario? If I know the worst and I could move forward to it, because next step is the possibility of attaining that goal and being successful.
- Things (time, emotional energy) going out but nothing coming back. There is no pay-off yet. It could push the client back.
- We need supporters or a team, such as a coach (support and clarification).
- Be comfortable of being uncomfortable.
When we see our clients reaching quitting zone, what do we do as a coach?
- Remind them where they come from and how far they have done; there is up and down in the journey; look back to six months ago, you have come this far; there is only one more step to achieve the goal.
- Celebrate the milestone they have achieved. It might be an option to talk about the previous moments they come up the feeling of quitting or stopping coach but they made it through. (Does it help people up front if they do not remember the moment?
- If we structure of the 12 weeks with 3 weeks on and 1 week off to make it easier for client to move through the process.
Are most of people reaching that point of quitting?
- It depends on the nature of your coaching type and the clients' type. (Sometimes, They think this is too big and too much for me.)
How do you see this coming to the client? What are the symptoms? What could you notice and refresh the conversation?
- Less of enthusiasm
- A waver of commitment
- No-focus on the conversation.
- Stop talking about their feelings to you.
- Failure to complete the tasks they committed to do before.
What if they start to cancel the calls? What do you do?
- Ask what is holding them?
- Very open feedback, no judgment.
- Ask them to give us feedback.
What if the client just disappears and has no conversation to us? (Coach would have self-doubt as well.)
- Put their achievement and their rights of the coaching sessions (still have three sessions that you pay for). We are achieving your goal. Putting the black and white for them. There is so much could happened. It might encourage them to come back.
- Talk about the coaching process in the up front of the coaching session beginning. If you reaching the quitting zone, what do you want me (coach) to do. (Challenging zone instead of quitting zone.)
- People might not come back (it is a risk). If you encounter this situation, send the client a letter and talk to your mentor coach, because it is not easy.
End zone: Our clients achieved their goal, what do we do there?
- Ask them what do they want us to do to celebrate with them when they achieve the goal. Celebrate with them.
- Having a session to go over the whole coaching process with an e-mail or letter.
- Give them a call one or two month later and ask how they are doing to see the possibility of extend the coaching session.
It is very difficult to convert the client from not paying to paying client. Ask the non-paying client to provide testimony and provide them the detailed information about the paying coaching practice and ask whether they want to continue the paid coaching. Open for few minutes if they want to talk about their goals. We are available for them. Also ask them to provide some referrals if possible.
2009/2/11, 18, 25 & 3/4: 1900-2000
The quitting zone
- Clients are really doubt the goals and themselves to move forward.
What's going on with the client in the quitting zone?
- Doubts come in; question whether they want or achieve that goal; fear of success or failure;
Client would be doubt always in the coaching process, but what really get them to say "never mind" and quit?
- Bigger than doubt, but they shift the idea of who they are (their identity).
- It is not comfortable to do things from unconsciously to consciously but not confident.
- They miss the comfort zone before.
Why it is so hard?
- How other people in their lives would influence them.
- Become a participant than creator. Now I have to do something.
- Have no more excuses of not doing it.
- Your brain, identity, fears of feelings, and expectation from outside are pushing back.
Think of a moment that you pushed through to achieve the goal, what did you do to make it happened?
- Courage; connection with the belief of what is in the other side.
- What's the worst scenario? If I know the worst and I could move forward to it, because next step is the possibility of attaining that goal and being successful.
- Things (time, emotional energy) going out but nothing coming back. There is no pay-off yet. It could push the client back.
- We need supporters or a team, such as a coach (support and clarification).
- Be comfortable of being uncomfortable.
When we see our clients reaching quitting zone, what do we do as a coach?
- Remind them where they come from and how far they have done; there is up and down in the journey; look back to six months ago, you have come this far; there is only one more step to achieve the goal.
- Celebrate the milestone they have achieved. It might be an option to talk about the previous moments they come up the feeling of quitting or stopping coach but they made it through. (Does it help people up front if they do not remember the moment?
- If we structure of the 12 weeks with 3 weeks on and 1 week off to make it easier for client to move through the process.
Are most of people reaching that point of quitting?
- It depends on the nature of your coaching type and the clients' type. (Sometimes, They think this is too big and too much for me.)
How do you see this coming to the client? What are the symptoms? What could you notice and refresh the conversation?
- Less of enthusiasm
- A waver of commitment
- No-focus on the conversation.
- Stop talking about their feelings to you.
- Failure to complete the tasks they committed to do before.
What if they start to cancel the calls? What do you do?
- Ask what is holding them?
- Very open feedback, no judgment.
- Ask them to give us feedback.
What if the client just disappears and has no conversation to us? (Coach would have self-doubt as well.)
- Put their achievement and their rights of the coaching sessions (still have three sessions that you pay for). We are achieving your goal. Putting the black and white for them. There is so much could happened. It might encourage them to come back.
- Talk about the coaching process in the up front of the coaching session beginning. If you reaching the quitting zone, what do you want me (coach) to do. (Challenging zone instead of quitting zone.)
- People might not come back (it is a risk). If you encounter this situation, send the client a letter and talk to your mentor coach, because it is not easy.
End zone: Our clients achieved their goal, what do we do there?
- Ask them what do they want us to do to celebrate with them when they achieve the goal. Celebrate with them.
- Having a session to go over the whole coaching process with an e-mail or letter.
- Give them a call one or two month later and ask how they are doing to see the possibility of extend the coaching session.
It is very difficult to convert the client from not paying to paying client. Ask the non-paying client to provide testimony and provide them the detailed information about the paying coaching practice and ask whether they want to continue the paid coaching. Open for few minutes if they want to talk about their goals. We are available for them. Also ask them to provide some referrals if possible.
AC108 Coaching Process - Part I
Facilitator: Sherry Read & Merci Miglino
2009/2/11, 18, 25 & 3/4: 1900-2000
What is the difference between coaching process and coaching model? How much our clients would go through the process?
Process
- General pattern that our client would go through in the process coaching. (personal own growth change and discovery)
- Every client would go through the same coaching process (coaching journey)
Model
- What do you do in a session or a short serial of sessions
- Coach's coaching style, coaching structure to be used for different purpose and help client go through the coaching process
- Strategy or different tools from coach to coach, to use during the process
Client takes 12 sessions through the stages, what does client do at the beginning? What happens in honeymoon stage?
- Curiosity & expectations (client and coach begin knowing each other)
- Learning to trust, learn to be coached in a save environment,
- Discover what their goals are (someone listen to you and help you find your goal~)
- Identify the challenges or goals the client might have for the next 12 weeks
- Building rapport and trust (client assess whether they could trust us)
At the beginning stage, clients obtain support from coach, but in the second stage they need to take responsibility to move forward.
What happen in the middle period of coaching after the honeymoon? (Take "going to the gym" or "quit smoking" for example)
- Feel pressure, bored and tired
- Realize that they have to put efforts to reach the goal, because it's time to take action (it's about keep doing it)
- Sometimes circumstance change, not the motivation change
- It's time for client to take the responsibility – that's the reality
When we learn new skills or pattern of action, there is a natural for people, environment, or society, etc. around us to push us back to our old patterns.
What's going on in the quitting zone?
- Fears: fear of success or achieving the goal or not achieving it (why people are afraid of achieving goals? more responsibilities, new risks or I am not good enough to achieve the goal
- They are not happy in what they are doing and easily to keep excuses
- Is the goal they really want? Are the possibility they feel save when achieving that goal?
If the client stay in the coaching and we help them reach the goal, what would happen? What's going on to client when they meet the goal?
- Find the possibility
- Does the goal really their goal? Are they happy? Any further motivation? New goal?
What causes valleys?
- Fear
- Lack of motivation (they are responsible and blaming others)
- Expectation is too high
What are tools for us to help our clients to move through the valleys faster or make the valleys less deep?
- Enthusing, encouraging to going a little bit
- Reframing their perspectives or UAC
- Shifting their believe (not confidence)
- What did you do before to get yourself out of that valley? What strengths
- Ask they how close do you think you could achieve goal? How do we get you from 2 to 3? Make it more imaginable, visualized.
What do you do in the peaks?
- Reinforce the feelings, celebration
- Reflections: form self and coach
- Acknowledgement, because they gained and used some things to be success. Ask them to write it down for the valleys.
- What is your take away today?
What does a coach do when clients go and down on peaks and valleys?
- Be present with them in their situation
- Moderate our style with client's motion
- We become part of their agenda, be minded that not to be involved in their emotions.
2009/2/11, 18, 25 & 3/4: 1900-2000
What is the difference between coaching process and coaching model? How much our clients would go through the process?
Process
- General pattern that our client would go through in the process coaching. (personal own growth change and discovery)
- Every client would go through the same coaching process (coaching journey)
Model
- What do you do in a session or a short serial of sessions
- Coach's coaching style, coaching structure to be used for different purpose and help client go through the coaching process
- Strategy or different tools from coach to coach, to use during the process
Client takes 12 sessions through the stages, what does client do at the beginning? What happens in honeymoon stage?
- Curiosity & expectations (client and coach begin knowing each other)
- Learning to trust, learn to be coached in a save environment,
- Discover what their goals are (someone listen to you and help you find your goal~)
- Identify the challenges or goals the client might have for the next 12 weeks
- Building rapport and trust (client assess whether they could trust us)
At the beginning stage, clients obtain support from coach, but in the second stage they need to take responsibility to move forward.
What happen in the middle period of coaching after the honeymoon? (Take "going to the gym" or "quit smoking" for example)
- Feel pressure, bored and tired
- Realize that they have to put efforts to reach the goal, because it's time to take action (it's about keep doing it)
- Sometimes circumstance change, not the motivation change
- It's time for client to take the responsibility – that's the reality
When we learn new skills or pattern of action, there is a natural for people, environment, or society, etc. around us to push us back to our old patterns.
What's going on in the quitting zone?
- Fears: fear of success or achieving the goal or not achieving it (why people are afraid of achieving goals? more responsibilities, new risks or I am not good enough to achieve the goal
- They are not happy in what they are doing and easily to keep excuses
- Is the goal they really want? Are the possibility they feel save when achieving that goal?
If the client stay in the coaching and we help them reach the goal, what would happen? What's going on to client when they meet the goal?
- Find the possibility
- Does the goal really their goal? Are they happy? Any further motivation? New goal?
What causes valleys?
- Fear
- Lack of motivation (they are responsible and blaming others)
- Expectation is too high
What are tools for us to help our clients to move through the valleys faster or make the valleys less deep?
- Enthusing, encouraging to going a little bit
- Reframing their perspectives or UAC
- Shifting their believe (not confidence)
- What did you do before to get yourself out of that valley? What strengths
- Ask they how close do you think you could achieve goal? How do we get you from 2 to 3? Make it more imaginable, visualized.
What do you do in the peaks?
- Reinforce the feelings, celebration
- Reflections: form self and coach
- Acknowledgement, because they gained and used some things to be success. Ask them to write it down for the valleys.
- What is your take away today?
What does a coach do when clients go and down on peaks and valleys?
- Be present with them in their situation
- Moderate our style with client's motion
- We become part of their agenda, be minded that not to be involved in their emotions.
AC201 - Moving Forward
Facilitator: Bill Turpin
2009/2/26, 3/5 & 13
Part of coach's role is to help them to move from (stretch out) the comfort zone to the learning zone and not to make it become a panic zone. Prepare clients in advance and let them know that learning zone would be uncomfortable. We could ask clients "what is the worst thing would happen here?" and hold that space for them.
Be mindful of using the past to help someone to move forward. Coach focus on the future. What can we do today to make a better tomorrow? Not let client's past to stop them to move forward. Make sure that they know what's next. Make it clear what's the next action. Be specific about the action to be taken in place.
Discussion
What are the key things, basics for someone to move forward? What questions we need to ask first?
- What do you want? What are their actual goals? (goal setting)
What is the second step to ask?
- What's driving that goal? What's the value? Is the goal aligned with their values?
- Create accountability
What is it important the goal aligned with their values?
- Make sure they are in the right track and direction
What's the third step?
- Learning how? What we need to learn to achieve that goal? Building structure for our clients to embody and embrace. (Ask their lacking and needing to achieve that goal.)
What's the fourth step?
- You actually have to do something. Coaching is about taking action.
- "Knowledge is not power" but "The application of Knowledge is power".
- If the person does not leave the place not action, coaching would not happen.
What's the next step?
- Look what happened? Stop and look at the results. Ask yourself "Does this action taken get closer or farer to you goal?"
- Identifying UAC? What's blocking them?
What's the next?
- Readjust / clarify the goal and do it all over again of the process from setting up the goal.
Can a client go too fast? What is the pace here?
- Yes, possible. It's up to the client.
Is it possible that a client move too fast for themselves? What are the concerns and risks of going too fast?
- Someone is looking for a job situation where they are not ready for it. They are not clear of what they want and jump ahead.
- Without being really clear, it is awkward to move forward.
- We do not want to stop our clients but we need to bear in mind to help and assist our client when they move too fast. We could help them change the pace slowing down a little bit.
We need to be careful not create an environment of dependency to our clients. How does it happen that our clients depend on us?
- The difference coaching of consulting: We do not give too much advice. We keep silence, because we want to create an environment for them to think and figure out the solution. Coaching is not giving the answers from coach. Clients should take the action by themselves. The real love of learning is creating the environment for clients to receive the insights. Remind clients what their roles in the coaching session.
- When we give them suggestions, we do not give them the opportunities think of the solutions or ideas of action.
Sometimes if we are demanding, when someone has the UAC of meeting demand from their parents, we might just reinforce the UAC and our clients just take the action to please us. It's not their decisions. In that way, we may disempower our clients to take action on their own.
2009/2/26, 3/5 & 13
Part of coach's role is to help them to move from (stretch out) the comfort zone to the learning zone and not to make it become a panic zone. Prepare clients in advance and let them know that learning zone would be uncomfortable. We could ask clients "what is the worst thing would happen here?" and hold that space for them.
Be mindful of using the past to help someone to move forward. Coach focus on the future. What can we do today to make a better tomorrow? Not let client's past to stop them to move forward. Make sure that they know what's next. Make it clear what's the next action. Be specific about the action to be taken in place.
Discussion
What are the key things, basics for someone to move forward? What questions we need to ask first?
- What do you want? What are their actual goals? (goal setting)
What is the second step to ask?
- What's driving that goal? What's the value? Is the goal aligned with their values?
- Create accountability
What is it important the goal aligned with their values?
- Make sure they are in the right track and direction
What's the third step?
- Learning how? What we need to learn to achieve that goal? Building structure for our clients to embody and embrace. (Ask their lacking and needing to achieve that goal.)
What's the fourth step?
- You actually have to do something. Coaching is about taking action.
- "Knowledge is not power" but "The application of Knowledge is power".
- If the person does not leave the place not action, coaching would not happen.
What's the next step?
- Look what happened? Stop and look at the results. Ask yourself "Does this action taken get closer or farer to you goal?"
- Identifying UAC? What's blocking them?
What's the next?
- Readjust / clarify the goal and do it all over again of the process from setting up the goal.
Can a client go too fast? What is the pace here?
- Yes, possible. It's up to the client.
Is it possible that a client move too fast for themselves? What are the concerns and risks of going too fast?
- Someone is looking for a job situation where they are not ready for it. They are not clear of what they want and jump ahead.
- Without being really clear, it is awkward to move forward.
- We do not want to stop our clients but we need to bear in mind to help and assist our client when they move too fast. We could help them change the pace slowing down a little bit.
We need to be careful not create an environment of dependency to our clients. How does it happen that our clients depend on us?
- The difference coaching of consulting: We do not give too much advice. We keep silence, because we want to create an environment for them to think and figure out the solution. Coaching is not giving the answers from coach. Clients should take the action by themselves. The real love of learning is creating the environment for clients to receive the insights. Remind clients what their roles in the coaching session.
- When we give them suggestions, we do not give them the opportunities think of the solutions or ideas of action.
Sometimes if we are demanding, when someone has the UAC of meeting demand from their parents, we might just reinforce the UAC and our clients just take the action to please us. It's not their decisions. In that way, we may disempower our clients to take action on their own.
2009/3/4
選狼還是選獅子? (文章轉載)
親愛的大家
這是一篇朋友轉寄给我的有趣文章, 跟大家分享. 我是選獅子. 你呢?
不要忘記留言, 跟我分享喔~~ ^^
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上帝把兩群羊放在草原上，一群在南，一群在北。 上帝還給羊群找了兩種天敵，一種是獅子，一種是狼。 上帝對羊群說：「如果你們要狼，就給一隻，任它隨意咬你們。如果你們要獅子，就給兩頭，你們可以在兩頭獅子中任選一頭，還可以隨時更換。」 這道題的問題就是：如果你也在羊群中，你是選狼還是選獅子？很容易做出選擇吧？好吧，記住你的選擇，接著往下看。
南邊那群羊想,獅子比狼兇猛得多,還是要狼吧。於是,它 們就要了一隻狼。北邊那群羊想，獅子雖然比狼兇猛得多，但我們有選擇權，還是要獅子吧。於是，它們就要了兩頭獅子。 那隻狼進了南邊的羊群後，就開始吃羊。狼身體小，食量也小，一隻羊夠它吃幾天了。這樣羊群幾天才被追殺一次。
北邊那群羊挑選了一頭獅子，另一頭則留在上帝那裡。 這頭獅子進入羊群後,也開始吃羊。獅子不但比狼兇猛，而且食量驚人，每天都要吃一隻羊。這樣羊群就天天都要被追殺，驚恐萬狀。 羊群趕緊請上帝換一頭獅子。不料，上帝保管的那頭獅子一直沒有吃東西，正飢餓難耐，它撲進羊群，比前面那頭獅子咬得更瘋狂。
羊群一天到晚只是逃命，連草都快吃不成了。 南邊的羊群慶幸自己選對了天敵，又嘲笑北邊的羊群沒有眼光。 北邊的羊群非常後悔，向上帝大倒苦水，要求更換天敵，改要一隻狼。 上帝說：「天敵一旦確定，就不能更改，必須世代相隨，你們唯一的權利是在兩頭獅子中選擇。」 北邊的羊群只好把兩頭獅子不斷更換。可兩頭獅子同樣凶殘，換哪一頭都比南邊的羊群悲慘得多，它們索性不換了，讓一頭獅子吃得膘肥體壯，另一頭獅子則餓得精瘦。 眼看那頭瘦獅子快要餓死了，羊群才請上帝換一頭。
這頭瘦獅子經過長時間的飢餓後，慢慢悟出了一個道理：自己雖然兇猛異常，一百隻羊都不是對手，可是自己的命運是操縱在羊群手裡的。羊群隨時可以把自己送回上帝那裡，讓自己飽受飢餓的煎熬，甚至有可能餓死。 想通這個道理後，瘦獅子就對羊群特別客氣，只吃死羊和病羊，凡是健康的羊它都不吃了。 羊群喜出望外，有幾隻小羊提議乾脆固定要瘦獅子，不要那頭肥獅子了。
一隻老公羊提醒說：「瘦獅子是怕我們送它回上帝那裡挨餓，才對我們這麼好。萬一肥獅子餓死了，我們沒有了選擇的餘地，瘦獅子很快就會恢復凶殘的本性。」 羊群覺得老羊說得有理，為了不讓另一頭獅子餓死，它們趕緊把它換回來。 原先膘肥體壯的那頭獅子，已經餓得只剩下皮包骨頭了，並且也懂得了自己的命運是操縱在羊群手裡的道理。為了能在草原上待久一點，它竟百般討好起羊群來。而那頭被送交給上帝的獅子，則難過得流下了眼淚。
北邊的羊群在經歷了重重磨難後，終於過上了自由自在的生活。 南邊的那群羊的處境卻越來越悲慘了，那隻狼因為沒有競爭對手，羊群又無法更換它，它就胡作非為，每天都要咬死幾十隻羊，這隻狼早已不吃羊肉了，它只喝羊心裡的血。 它還不准羊叫，哪只叫就立刻咬死哪只。南邊的羊群只能在心中哀歎：「早知道這樣，還不如要兩頭獅子。」 這是一道非常簡單的選擇題，據我多次親自嘗試的經驗，如果拿來問歐美的朋友，大多數人都會選獅子，但是如果拿來問我們自己華人，大多數人都會選狼(包括我自己)。
領悟到了嗎? 握有決定權的才有生機，否則只有任人宰割的份了………！
這是一篇朋友轉寄给我的有趣文章, 跟大家分享. 我是選獅子. 你呢?
不要忘記留言, 跟我分享喔~~ ^^
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上帝把兩群羊放在草原上，一群在南，一群在北。 上帝還給羊群找了兩種天敵，一種是獅子，一種是狼。 上帝對羊群說：「如果你們要狼，就給一隻，任它隨意咬你們。如果你們要獅子，就給兩頭，你們可以在兩頭獅子中任選一頭，還可以隨時更換。」 這道題的問題就是：如果你也在羊群中，你是選狼還是選獅子？很容易做出選擇吧？好吧，記住你的選擇，接著往下看。
南邊那群羊想,獅子比狼兇猛得多,還是要狼吧。於是,它 們就要了一隻狼。北邊那群羊想，獅子雖然比狼兇猛得多，但我們有選擇權，還是要獅子吧。於是，它們就要了兩頭獅子。 那隻狼進了南邊的羊群後，就開始吃羊。狼身體小，食量也小，一隻羊夠它吃幾天了。這樣羊群幾天才被追殺一次。
北邊那群羊挑選了一頭獅子，另一頭則留在上帝那裡。 這頭獅子進入羊群後,也開始吃羊。獅子不但比狼兇猛，而且食量驚人，每天都要吃一隻羊。這樣羊群就天天都要被追殺，驚恐萬狀。 羊群趕緊請上帝換一頭獅子。不料，上帝保管的那頭獅子一直沒有吃東西，正飢餓難耐，它撲進羊群，比前面那頭獅子咬得更瘋狂。
羊群一天到晚只是逃命，連草都快吃不成了。 南邊的羊群慶幸自己選對了天敵，又嘲笑北邊的羊群沒有眼光。 北邊的羊群非常後悔，向上帝大倒苦水，要求更換天敵，改要一隻狼。 上帝說：「天敵一旦確定，就不能更改，必須世代相隨，你們唯一的權利是在兩頭獅子中選擇。」 北邊的羊群只好把兩頭獅子不斷更換。可兩頭獅子同樣凶殘，換哪一頭都比南邊的羊群悲慘得多，它們索性不換了，讓一頭獅子吃得膘肥體壯，另一頭獅子則餓得精瘦。 眼看那頭瘦獅子快要餓死了，羊群才請上帝換一頭。
這頭瘦獅子經過長時間的飢餓後，慢慢悟出了一個道理：自己雖然兇猛異常，一百隻羊都不是對手，可是自己的命運是操縱在羊群手裡的。羊群隨時可以把自己送回上帝那裡，讓自己飽受飢餓的煎熬，甚至有可能餓死。 想通這個道理後，瘦獅子就對羊群特別客氣，只吃死羊和病羊，凡是健康的羊它都不吃了。 羊群喜出望外，有幾隻小羊提議乾脆固定要瘦獅子，不要那頭肥獅子了。
一隻老公羊提醒說：「瘦獅子是怕我們送它回上帝那裡挨餓，才對我們這麼好。萬一肥獅子餓死了，我們沒有了選擇的餘地，瘦獅子很快就會恢復凶殘的本性。」 羊群覺得老羊說得有理，為了不讓另一頭獅子餓死，它們趕緊把它換回來。 原先膘肥體壯的那頭獅子，已經餓得只剩下皮包骨頭了，並且也懂得了自己的命運是操縱在羊群手裡的道理。為了能在草原上待久一點，它竟百般討好起羊群來。而那頭被送交給上帝的獅子，則難過得流下了眼淚。
北邊的羊群在經歷了重重磨難後，終於過上了自由自在的生活。 南邊的那群羊的處境卻越來越悲慘了，那隻狼因為沒有競爭對手，羊群又無法更換它，它就胡作非為，每天都要咬死幾十隻羊，這隻狼早已不吃羊肉了，它只喝羊心裡的血。 它還不准羊叫，哪只叫就立刻咬死哪只。南邊的羊群只能在心中哀歎：「早知道這樣，還不如要兩頭獅子。」 這是一道非常簡單的選擇題，據我多次親自嘗試的經驗，如果拿來問歐美的朋友，大多數人都會選獅子，但是如果拿來問我們自己華人，大多數人都會選狼(包括我自己)。
領悟到了嗎? 握有決定權的才有生機，否則只有任人宰割的份了………！
2009/3/3
AC206 Truth Telling
Facilitator: Prabha Chandrasekhar
2009/2/24 & 3/3
When we talk about truth and tell the truth, there are many different perspective of it. What do you think of truth telling?
- Truth could be influenced by the environment, a firm's policy, or feedback from others
How could we define truth? What is truth?
- Truth is factual and could be proved.
- Something I see.
- Perceptions of our life.
Truth can be different for each one of us. It is important of how we handle truth telling. What is the best to look at truth telling?
- When we coach, we need to see that truth is different from person to person
How do we approach clients whose truth is different from us? How do we welcome client's truth?
- Ask for more background information and we could see from their perspectives.
- Understanding our clients' perspective and to believe something in their place
- Be non-judgment
It is important to build the trust of telling truth. Ask permission to share my understanding to tell the truth. We should respect our clients' truth. Help them to shift their perspective if their truth
Truth is more serious and direct than feedback. Truth is different from feedback. Clients' reaction to feedback and truth is different. It is harsher to hear the truth. It depends on the situation, timing and client's preparation of hearing the truth.
Book: what go you here won't get you there.
Use the word of "Feed-forward" instead of feedback. Feed-forward for coaching: give feedback to our clients and ask them to ask feed-forward from their team members and bring them back to the coaching session to put them on the action plan.
Truth creates some fears that what should they do next. Lead to change of attitude and behaviors, it's a changing process. Coach need to help clients to move forward (change the truth). Truth telling is in the process of growing.
We could ask us the question more "what do I have to lose if...?"
What do I have to lose if I tell the truth to this person? Then we try to get in a win-win situation.
AC111 Underlying Automatic Commitments
Facilitator: Angela Bird & Sherry Read
2009/2/16, 23 & 3/2
What do you think about "Underlying Automatic Commitments (UAC)" might be? We are not conscious about it. They are like default programs in our brain computer. We do not only have one UAC.
- The judgment we hold for ourselves to things around us, we label things or ourselves when we are growing up.
- When we were children, we judge things to understand who we are?
- Women look for evidence to support what we think, right or wrong.
What are Underlying Automatic Commitments? When do you notice them before they show you?
- There are layers of beliefs and commitments
- UAC could motive and not motive a person
- Are these beliefs are neutral?
- Sometimes we are too comfortable with it and do not feel that is disempowering us.
How could someone to change UAC? How to do you help them to change?
- Make it unconscious to conscious to be aware of it and look at the limits it brings to you and think about how to change it. (Meditation)
- First step is to be ware of what it is.
- Why can’t you change it or modify / shift it? (expand or narrow the belief) Make the UAC better suit you in a good way, rather say it is wrong.
- Focus on what you want to change to, link positive motions of new things, take that wire loosed a little bit and make it link to your value.
- The shifting honors the original beliefs. Modify it in a new way.
- Because changing is sometimes an uncomfortable situation.
- Focus on what do you want to do? Values and goals.
- Emotions tight UAC to your believe and provide you comfortable feeling.
What we notice UAC of clients, then what do we do? Do I actually tell my clients that this is their UAC? Do I get them to get there, changing the behaviors (UAC)?
- At the beginning, I will not tell the client. I would think of the relationship with the client to decide whether I should tell the client. Their comfortable zone.
- Sometimes we are the mirror and we could tell client that I continue seeing you doing this, what is that about? I probably will not use the word of UAC. UAC is jargon, but it might not helpful to our client. (Tina agrees.)
- Tell clients in their words.
- We want them to see that there are reasons why they are not getting what they said they want.
2009/2/16, 23 & 3/2
What do you think about "Underlying Automatic Commitments (UAC)" might be? We are not conscious about it. They are like default programs in our brain computer. We do not only have one UAC.
- The judgment we hold for ourselves to things around us, we label things or ourselves when we are growing up.
- When we were children, we judge things to understand who we are?
- Women look for evidence to support what we think, right or wrong.
What are Underlying Automatic Commitments? When do you notice them before they show you?
- There are layers of beliefs and commitments
- UAC could motive and not motive a person
- Are these beliefs are neutral?
- Sometimes we are too comfortable with it and do not feel that is disempowering us.
How could someone to change UAC? How to do you help them to change?
- Make it unconscious to conscious to be aware of it and look at the limits it brings to you and think about how to change it. (Meditation)
- First step is to be ware of what it is.
- Why can’t you change it or modify / shift it? (expand or narrow the belief) Make the UAC better suit you in a good way, rather say it is wrong.
- Focus on what you want to change to, link positive motions of new things, take that wire loosed a little bit and make it link to your value.
- The shifting honors the original beliefs. Modify it in a new way.
- Because changing is sometimes an uncomfortable situation.
- Focus on what do you want to do? Values and goals.
- Emotions tight UAC to your believe and provide you comfortable feeling.
What we notice UAC of clients, then what do we do? Do I actually tell my clients that this is their UAC? Do I get them to get there, changing the behaviors (UAC)?
- At the beginning, I will not tell the client. I would think of the relationship with the client to decide whether I should tell the client. Their comfortable zone.
- Sometimes we are the mirror and we could tell client that I continue seeing you doing this, what is that about? I probably will not use the word of UAC. UAC is jargon, but it might not helpful to our client. (Tina agrees.)
- Tell clients in their words.
- We want them to see that there are reasons why they are not getting what they said they want.
2009/3/2
焦點解決, 短期治療 by Jeremy
時間: 2008/2/21
地點: The One (國家劇院一樓)
與會人: James, Sandy, Jeremy, Westley, Tina
地點: The One (國家劇院一樓)
與會人: James, Sandy, Jeremy, Westley, Tina
Jeremy 跟大家分享 "焦點解,決短期治療" 的讀書心得與應用. 包過背景, 基本精神, 技巧, 情緒處理以及後設邏輯. 大家發現很多重點與現在 ICA 學習的內容有以取童工之妙. 建議ICA的同學可以買這本書參考. 另一本相關主題的書: Office 心靈教練(企業的焦點解決短期諮商).
Sandy 也跟大家分享 "助人工作者的 5P " - Patience, Pace, Path, Process and Possibility. Sany 還帶大家進行 "五根手指頭快速建立自信心法". 今天的聚會真的收穫豐富. 感謝大家的無私分享.
Dear all,
I had a wonderful learning time with you last Saturday evening. Thanks toJeremy and Sandy's sharing. I felt great. Just one information for yourreference, according to my peer coach, we could extend the learning periodfrom two years to three years. If you need more information, I will ask mypeer coach for more information.Have a nice week ahead.
Regards,
Tina
AC105 Creating Action
Facilitator: Nick Bosk
2009/2/18 & 25
Let's talk about creating action is the next step after we set up the goal. It's a process of achieving that goal. Why to have that goal and how to get there. Motivate our clients to take action as a coach. The motivation should come from clients' values. We are not source, we help clients focus on their motivations.
Goal setting for creating action, after create your goal than put it into action.
Why (reason- focusing on personal values) and how (process) are two components to create the goal. The values must be their own values, not others' values. Focus on clients' strength inventory. Focus on growth, positive things in life.
========================
Focus on our strengths as a coach
Look into yourself and step in the role as a coach. Each of you changes the perspective that we are not students, but coaches RIGHT NOW. You are a brilliant coach. Focus on the strength that you want to grow.
What are the strengths you bring into your coaching? (1)
- Be my best self, perfectly you. (positive) >>> "better" presents the feeling of negative and lacking. (How would you take action to become a perfect you? What would be if you not take the action? What strength you have to help you make more connection with other people?)
When coaching, I know we want to have "ah-ha" moment in our life, but sometimes the conversation stop because our client need to so some fieldwork to figure it out on their own.
What are the strengths you bring into your coaching? (2)
- Being non-judgmental, allowing clients to have their voice and ideas. They need to take their own action. (How important it is to the coaching? How do you allow yourself from being judgmental? Every person is unique. We are not walk in their shoes, so we should not be judgmental.)
What are the strengths you bring into your coaching? (3)
- Supportive and good listener. Listen to clients' stories and then we share ours.
Resources
Creating a list of resources could help us to achieve the goals. Name one or two resources that you could use to be a best coach?
- ICA programs / Communities
- Clients' testimonial
- Clients to help us to get more clients
- Website would be a marketing tool for coaching business
- Current coaching clients and networking of coaches (get together and share experience, tools and challenges)
We do learn from our clients. We could find powerful message and information for me within those notes generated/reflected from the coaching session and clients. Coaching experience could help us become a better coach. Write down the best thing about you generally. Write a testimonial about yourself. We could post it on this session.
2009/2/18 & 25
Let's talk about creating action is the next step after we set up the goal. It's a process of achieving that goal. Why to have that goal and how to get there. Motivate our clients to take action as a coach. The motivation should come from clients' values. We are not source, we help clients focus on their motivations.
Goal setting for creating action, after create your goal than put it into action.
Why (reason- focusing on personal values) and how (process) are two components to create the goal. The values must be their own values, not others' values. Focus on clients' strength inventory. Focus on growth, positive things in life.
========================
Focus on our strengths as a coach
Look into yourself and step in the role as a coach. Each of you changes the perspective that we are not students, but coaches RIGHT NOW. You are a brilliant coach. Focus on the strength that you want to grow.
What are the strengths you bring into your coaching? (1)
- Be my best self, perfectly you. (positive) >>> "better" presents the feeling of negative and lacking. (How would you take action to become a perfect you? What would be if you not take the action? What strength you have to help you make more connection with other people?)
When coaching, I know we want to have "ah-ha" moment in our life, but sometimes the conversation stop because our client need to so some fieldwork to figure it out on their own.
What are the strengths you bring into your coaching? (2)
- Being non-judgmental, allowing clients to have their voice and ideas. They need to take their own action. (How important it is to the coaching? How do you allow yourself from being judgmental? Every person is unique. We are not walk in their shoes, so we should not be judgmental.)
What are the strengths you bring into your coaching? (3)
- Supportive and good listener. Listen to clients' stories and then we share ours.
Resources
Creating a list of resources could help us to achieve the goals. Name one or two resources that you could use to be a best coach?
- ICA programs / Communities
- Clients' testimonial
- Clients to help us to get more clients
- Website would be a marketing tool for coaching business
- Current coaching clients and networking of coaches (get together and share experience, tools and challenges)
We do learn from our clients. We could find powerful message and information for me within those notes generated/reflected from the coaching session and clients. Coaching experience could help us become a better coach. Write down the best thing about you generally. Write a testimonial about yourself. We could post it on this session.
AC104 Goal Setting
Facilitator: Bill Turpin
2009/2/17 & 24
A goal setting study sponsored by the Ford Foundation found that:
What's the value to write it down? Tangible, remind, make it more real, stay focus, it brings clarity of the goal, no to forget the goal, develop structure to remind the commitment we have made, real and measurement, reinforce our mind, visible is very powerful.
Goals are only step stones help us understand what we really, really want. What we really want is driven by our values. Goals can change. There are multiple ways or the other way to achieve a goal.
What are your roles as a coach in supporting clients of setting their goals?
- Personal encouragement
- Ask questions
- Sounding board
- Identify the goal hijacker for clients
- Passion
- Stretch them a little bit
- Accountability partner, help them not to quit easily
- Bear in mind that “focusing on clients”: it’s their goal not our goal.
Two goals with limited time:
Help client clarify what do they really want to do? Help them to find their passion.
Help clients to move outside their comfort zone and move to learning zone (uncomfortable zone, panic zone). We help them understand that sometimes we need to stay in the uncomfortable zone but we will help them stay away from panic zone.
2009/2/17 & 24
A goal setting study sponsored by the Ford Foundation found that:
- 23% of the populations has NO IDEA what they want from life & as a result they float around aimlessly.
- 67% of the population has a general idea of what they want but they don’t have any plans for how to get it.
- Only 10% of the population has specific well-defined goals but even then, 7 out of 10 of those people reach their goals only half (50%) of the time.
- The top 3% of the people in the study achieved their goals 89% of the time. What was the difference? They found that of all the possible variables, the only difference between the top performers and the rest was that the top 3% WROTE DOWN THEIR GOALS.
What's the value to write it down? Tangible, remind, make it more real, stay focus, it brings clarity of the goal, no to forget the goal, develop structure to remind the commitment we have made, real and measurement, reinforce our mind, visible is very powerful.
Goals are only step stones help us understand what we really, really want. What we really want is driven by our values. Goals can change. There are multiple ways or the other way to achieve a goal.
What are your roles as a coach in supporting clients of setting their goals?
- Personal encouragement
- Ask questions
- Sounding board
- Identify the goal hijacker for clients
- Passion
- Stretch them a little bit
- Accountability partner, help them not to quit easily
- Bear in mind that “focusing on clients”: it’s their goal not our goal.
Two goals with limited time:
Help client clarify what do they really want to do? Help them to find their passion.
Help clients to move outside their comfort zone and move to learning zone (uncomfortable zone, panic zone). We help them understand that sometimes we need to stay in the uncomfortable zone but we will help them stay away from panic zone.
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