PT106 Respect vs. Invalidation (2)

Facilitator: Prabha Chandrasekhar
2009/4/15 & 22

Overloading client: in the position for more than 1.5 years.
Q1: How do you challenge your client without invalidating? (Move from invalidating to respecting himself)
- Ask him that in his perception, where would he mark himself in 1 – 10 scale or respecting himself? Why does he mark there? And how would he do to move the respecting scale to him? (In the process, we could bring up the awareness of respecting himself.)

Q2: What if that actually is the boundary of the person invalidates himself?
- Someone wants to control and not delegate sometimes might be overloaded. (Ask the person why he is afraid of delegating? Talk to the person what is the definition of “control”?)

Q3: How would you approach this client? Partner this client? What would you do?
- Discover something underline before.
- What do you take that and what do you want to achieve? Maybe he is not setting boundaries but just accept what was given to him.

Q4: When you ask the following questions, how could you not invalidate him? (What did he observe from his friends doing to be promoted? How do they work and the quality? Encourage him to ask his peer colleagues for sharing. What are their skill sets?)
- What are the things making him not comfortable?
- Is it possible he does not trust others or oversee too much?

When we set the boundaries but our friends don’t like it how could we communicate and do not to invalidate him and us? (A friend wants you to be her sounding board but abusing the relationship)
- What is the one thing that you could like to do for you or share with your friend to make yourself feel good (being taking care of)?
When we talk about trust, we talk about taking care of ourselves. We need to trust ourselves.

What are the two things that you would like to do to take care of yourself (to respect yourself)?