Facilitator: Sherry Read & Merci Miglino
2009/2/11, 18, 25 & 3/4: 1900-2000
The quitting zone
- Clients are really doubt the goals and themselves to move forward.
What's going on with the client in the quitting zone?
- Doubts come in; question whether they want or achieve that goal; fear of success or failure;
Client would be doubt always in the coaching process, but what really get them to say "never mind" and quit?
- Bigger than doubt, but they shift the idea of who they are (their identity).
- It is not comfortable to do things from unconsciously to consciously but not confident.
- They miss the comfort zone before.
Why it is so hard?
- How other people in their lives would influence them.
- Become a participant than creator. Now I have to do something.
- Have no more excuses of not doing it.
- Your brain, identity, fears of feelings, and expectation from outside are pushing back.
Think of a moment that you pushed through to achieve the goal, what did you do to make it happened?
- Courage; connection with the belief of what is in the other side.
- What's the worst scenario? If I know the worst and I could move forward to it, because next step is the possibility of attaining that goal and being successful.
- Things (time, emotional energy) going out but nothing coming back. There is no pay-off yet. It could push the client back.
- We need supporters or a team, such as a coach (support and clarification).
- Be comfortable of being uncomfortable.
When we see our clients reaching quitting zone, what do we do as a coach?
- Remind them where they come from and how far they have done; there is up and down in the journey; look back to six months ago, you have come this far; there is only one more step to achieve the goal.
- Celebrate the milestone they have achieved. It might be an option to talk about the previous moments they come up the feeling of quitting or stopping coach but they made it through. (Does it help people up front if they do not remember the moment?
- If we structure of the 12 weeks with 3 weeks on and 1 week off to make it easier for client to move through the process.
Are most of people reaching that point of quitting?
- It depends on the nature of your coaching type and the clients' type. (Sometimes, They think this is too big and too much for me.)
How do you see this coming to the client? What are the symptoms? What could you notice and refresh the conversation?
- Less of enthusiasm
- A waver of commitment
- No-focus on the conversation.
- Stop talking about their feelings to you.
- Failure to complete the tasks they committed to do before.
What if they start to cancel the calls? What do you do?
- Ask what is holding them?
- Very open feedback, no judgment.
- Ask them to give us feedback.
What if the client just disappears and has no conversation to us? (Coach would have self-doubt as well.)
- Put their achievement and their rights of the coaching sessions (still have three sessions that you pay for). We are achieving your goal. Putting the black and white for them. There is so much could happened. It might encourage them to come back.
- Talk about the coaching process in the up front of the coaching session beginning. If you reaching the quitting zone, what do you want me (coach) to do. (Challenging zone instead of quitting zone.)
- People might not come back (it is a risk). If you encounter this situation, send the client a letter and talk to your mentor coach, because it is not easy.
End zone: Our clients achieved their goal, what do we do there?
- Ask them what do they want us to do to celebrate with them when they achieve the goal. Celebrate with them.
- Having a session to go over the whole coaching process with an e-mail or letter.
- Give them a call one or two month later and ask how they are doing to see the possibility of extend the coaching session.
It is very difficult to convert the client from not paying to paying client. Ask the non-paying client to provide testimony and provide them the detailed information about the paying coaching practice and ask whether they want to continue the paid coaching. Open for few minutes if they want to talk about their goals. We are available for them. Also ask them to provide some referrals if possible.
2009/3/17
AC108 Coaching Process - Part I
Facilitator: Sherry Read & Merci Miglino
2009/2/11, 18, 25 & 3/4: 1900-2000
What is the difference between coaching process and coaching model? How much our clients would go through the process?
Process
- General pattern that our client would go through in the process coaching. (personal own growth change and discovery)
- Every client would go through the same coaching process (coaching journey)
Model
- What do you do in a session or a short serial of sessions
- Coach's coaching style, coaching structure to be used for different purpose and help client go through the coaching process
- Strategy or different tools from coach to coach, to use during the process
Client takes 12 sessions through the stages, what does client do at the beginning? What happens in honeymoon stage?
- Curiosity & expectations (client and coach begin knowing each other)
- Learning to trust, learn to be coached in a save environment,
- Discover what their goals are (someone listen to you and help you find your goal~)
- Identify the challenges or goals the client might have for the next 12 weeks
- Building rapport and trust (client assess whether they could trust us)
At the beginning stage, clients obtain support from coach, but in the second stage they need to take responsibility to move forward.
What happen in the middle period of coaching after the honeymoon? (Take "going to the gym" or "quit smoking" for example)
- Feel pressure, bored and tired
- Realize that they have to put efforts to reach the goal, because it's time to take action (it's about keep doing it)
- Sometimes circumstance change, not the motivation change
- It's time for client to take the responsibility – that's the reality
When we learn new skills or pattern of action, there is a natural for people, environment, or society, etc. around us to push us back to our old patterns.
What's going on in the quitting zone?
- Fears: fear of success or achieving the goal or not achieving it (why people are afraid of achieving goals? more responsibilities, new risks or I am not good enough to achieve the goal
- They are not happy in what they are doing and easily to keep excuses
- Is the goal they really want? Are the possibility they feel save when achieving that goal?
If the client stay in the coaching and we help them reach the goal, what would happen? What's going on to client when they meet the goal?
- Find the possibility
- Does the goal really their goal? Are they happy? Any further motivation? New goal?
What causes valleys?
- Fear
- Lack of motivation (they are responsible and blaming others)
- Expectation is too high
What are tools for us to help our clients to move through the valleys faster or make the valleys less deep?
- Enthusing, encouraging to going a little bit
- Reframing their perspectives or UAC
- Shifting their believe (not confidence)
- What did you do before to get yourself out of that valley? What strengths
- Ask they how close do you think you could achieve goal? How do we get you from 2 to 3? Make it more imaginable, visualized.
What do you do in the peaks?
- Reinforce the feelings, celebration
- Reflections: form self and coach
- Acknowledgement, because they gained and used some things to be success. Ask them to write it down for the valleys.
- What is your take away today?
What does a coach do when clients go and down on peaks and valleys?
- Be present with them in their situation
- Moderate our style with client's motion
- We become part of their agenda, be minded that not to be involved in their emotions.
2009/2/11, 18, 25 & 3/4: 1900-2000
What is the difference between coaching process and coaching model? How much our clients would go through the process?
Process
- General pattern that our client would go through in the process coaching. (personal own growth change and discovery)
- Every client would go through the same coaching process (coaching journey)
Model
- What do you do in a session or a short serial of sessions
- Coach's coaching style, coaching structure to be used for different purpose and help client go through the coaching process
- Strategy or different tools from coach to coach, to use during the process
Client takes 12 sessions through the stages, what does client do at the beginning? What happens in honeymoon stage?
- Curiosity & expectations (client and coach begin knowing each other)
- Learning to trust, learn to be coached in a save environment,
- Discover what their goals are (someone listen to you and help you find your goal~)
- Identify the challenges or goals the client might have for the next 12 weeks
- Building rapport and trust (client assess whether they could trust us)
At the beginning stage, clients obtain support from coach, but in the second stage they need to take responsibility to move forward.
What happen in the middle period of coaching after the honeymoon? (Take "going to the gym" or "quit smoking" for example)
- Feel pressure, bored and tired
- Realize that they have to put efforts to reach the goal, because it's time to take action (it's about keep doing it)
- Sometimes circumstance change, not the motivation change
- It's time for client to take the responsibility – that's the reality
When we learn new skills or pattern of action, there is a natural for people, environment, or society, etc. around us to push us back to our old patterns.
What's going on in the quitting zone?
- Fears: fear of success or achieving the goal or not achieving it (why people are afraid of achieving goals? more responsibilities, new risks or I am not good enough to achieve the goal
- They are not happy in what they are doing and easily to keep excuses
- Is the goal they really want? Are the possibility they feel save when achieving that goal?
If the client stay in the coaching and we help them reach the goal, what would happen? What's going on to client when they meet the goal?
- Find the possibility
- Does the goal really their goal? Are they happy? Any further motivation? New goal?
What causes valleys?
- Fear
- Lack of motivation (they are responsible and blaming others)
- Expectation is too high
What are tools for us to help our clients to move through the valleys faster or make the valleys less deep?
- Enthusing, encouraging to going a little bit
- Reframing their perspectives or UAC
- Shifting their believe (not confidence)
- What did you do before to get yourself out of that valley? What strengths
- Ask they how close do you think you could achieve goal? How do we get you from 2 to 3? Make it more imaginable, visualized.
What do you do in the peaks?
- Reinforce the feelings, celebration
- Reflections: form self and coach
- Acknowledgement, because they gained and used some things to be success. Ask them to write it down for the valleys.
- What is your take away today?
What does a coach do when clients go and down on peaks and valleys?
- Be present with them in their situation
- Moderate our style with client's motion
- We become part of their agenda, be minded that not to be involved in their emotions.
AC201 - Moving Forward
Facilitator: Bill Turpin
2009/2/26, 3/5 & 13
Part of coach's role is to help them to move from (stretch out) the comfort zone to the learning zone and not to make it become a panic zone. Prepare clients in advance and let them know that learning zone would be uncomfortable. We could ask clients "what is the worst thing would happen here?" and hold that space for them.
Be mindful of using the past to help someone to move forward. Coach focus on the future. What can we do today to make a better tomorrow? Not let client's past to stop them to move forward. Make sure that they know what's next. Make it clear what's the next action. Be specific about the action to be taken in place.
Discussion
What are the key things, basics for someone to move forward? What questions we need to ask first?
- What do you want? What are their actual goals? (goal setting)
What is the second step to ask?
- What's driving that goal? What's the value? Is the goal aligned with their values?
- Create accountability
What is it important the goal aligned with their values?
- Make sure they are in the right track and direction
What's the third step?
- Learning how? What we need to learn to achieve that goal? Building structure for our clients to embody and embrace. (Ask their lacking and needing to achieve that goal.)
What's the fourth step?
- You actually have to do something. Coaching is about taking action.
- "Knowledge is not power" but "The application of Knowledge is power".
- If the person does not leave the place not action, coaching would not happen.
What's the next step?
- Look what happened? Stop and look at the results. Ask yourself "Does this action taken get closer or farer to you goal?"
- Identifying UAC? What's blocking them?
What's the next?
- Readjust / clarify the goal and do it all over again of the process from setting up the goal.
Can a client go too fast? What is the pace here?
- Yes, possible. It's up to the client.
Is it possible that a client move too fast for themselves? What are the concerns and risks of going too fast?
- Someone is looking for a job situation where they are not ready for it. They are not clear of what they want and jump ahead.
- Without being really clear, it is awkward to move forward.
- We do not want to stop our clients but we need to bear in mind to help and assist our client when they move too fast. We could help them change the pace slowing down a little bit.
We need to be careful not create an environment of dependency to our clients. How does it happen that our clients depend on us?
- The difference coaching of consulting: We do not give too much advice. We keep silence, because we want to create an environment for them to think and figure out the solution. Coaching is not giving the answers from coach. Clients should take the action by themselves. The real love of learning is creating the environment for clients to receive the insights. Remind clients what their roles in the coaching session.
- When we give them suggestions, we do not give them the opportunities think of the solutions or ideas of action.
Sometimes if we are demanding, when someone has the UAC of meeting demand from their parents, we might just reinforce the UAC and our clients just take the action to please us. It's not their decisions. In that way, we may disempower our clients to take action on their own.
2009/2/26, 3/5 & 13
Part of coach's role is to help them to move from (stretch out) the comfort zone to the learning zone and not to make it become a panic zone. Prepare clients in advance and let them know that learning zone would be uncomfortable. We could ask clients "what is the worst thing would happen here?" and hold that space for them.
Be mindful of using the past to help someone to move forward. Coach focus on the future. What can we do today to make a better tomorrow? Not let client's past to stop them to move forward. Make sure that they know what's next. Make it clear what's the next action. Be specific about the action to be taken in place.
Discussion
What are the key things, basics for someone to move forward? What questions we need to ask first?
- What do you want? What are their actual goals? (goal setting)
What is the second step to ask?
- What's driving that goal? What's the value? Is the goal aligned with their values?
- Create accountability
What is it important the goal aligned with their values?
- Make sure they are in the right track and direction
What's the third step?
- Learning how? What we need to learn to achieve that goal? Building structure for our clients to embody and embrace. (Ask their lacking and needing to achieve that goal.)
What's the fourth step?
- You actually have to do something. Coaching is about taking action.
- "Knowledge is not power" but "The application of Knowledge is power".
- If the person does not leave the place not action, coaching would not happen.
What's the next step?
- Look what happened? Stop and look at the results. Ask yourself "Does this action taken get closer or farer to you goal?"
- Identifying UAC? What's blocking them?
What's the next?
- Readjust / clarify the goal and do it all over again of the process from setting up the goal.
Can a client go too fast? What is the pace here?
- Yes, possible. It's up to the client.
Is it possible that a client move too fast for themselves? What are the concerns and risks of going too fast?
- Someone is looking for a job situation where they are not ready for it. They are not clear of what they want and jump ahead.
- Without being really clear, it is awkward to move forward.
- We do not want to stop our clients but we need to bear in mind to help and assist our client when they move too fast. We could help them change the pace slowing down a little bit.
We need to be careful not create an environment of dependency to our clients. How does it happen that our clients depend on us?
- The difference coaching of consulting: We do not give too much advice. We keep silence, because we want to create an environment for them to think and figure out the solution. Coaching is not giving the answers from coach. Clients should take the action by themselves. The real love of learning is creating the environment for clients to receive the insights. Remind clients what their roles in the coaching session.
- When we give them suggestions, we do not give them the opportunities think of the solutions or ideas of action.
Sometimes if we are demanding, when someone has the UAC of meeting demand from their parents, we might just reinforce the UAC and our clients just take the action to please us. It's not their decisions. In that way, we may disempower our clients to take action on their own.
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