Facilitator: Bill Turpin
2009/1/29: 20:00~21:00
Key learning points
Feedback is given in view of the other person's (receiver's) goals and values. Opinion is given in view of the coach's (my) goals and values. When we give feedback, we need give it in view of the person's goals and values. To give feedback effectively, it requires that we must understand client's goals and values. How often do we make the mistakes assuming that we know the person's goals and values according to the past experience? Feedback is the statement of what is. It is not should do or ought to do. Feedback is neither positive nor negative, it is neutral. We want to help client become self-ware and subsequently self-decisive.
Coaches must be minded of our own opinions and judgments when we give feedback. We could ask clients a question: do you think that is what you really want to reflect for? Give the person and time for second thought. When giving feedback, we should be non-judgmental. Be aware of judgmental and we could "suspend judgment" for a moment and focus on client's goal and values (align with client's goals and values). Or it would be very easy for us to give feedback from our opinions, goals and values.
- Feedback attracts; opinion attacks.
- Real play (true story) is better than role play.
- Feedback is not about me (giver), is about the client (receiver).
- When you hear "what do you think?" They might need feedback but not opinions.
- Effective feedback: give feedback align with client's goals and values or help client become align with their goals and values.
Discussion
Q: How would you define feedback? What is feedback? What comes to your mind when you hear the word "feedback"?
- non-judgmental, reflect what's been said and done
- feedback gives us an opportunity to have a second thought and reflect to what happened
- perspective from the other person, which is different from my perspective
- positive feedback, objective feedback
Q: What would you say the difference of feedback vs. opinion?
Feedback: nonjudgmental, their own conclusion, objective, neutral, align with their journey, with permission, unbiased,
Opinion: judgmental, my ideas, subjective, personalized,
Q: How to know that we are giving feedback or opinions?
Opinions: from my (coach's) perspectives
Feedback: I don't have to agree with him, but I could appreciate his goals and values and his efforts - on target of his goal (client's perspective)
Q: To coach a client on leadership, with 360 feedback for the executive level. It's really difficult to get "feedback" but opinions. However, we have to use the opinions to coach those executives. It is challenging. Please advise.
Ask the questions in the beginning, "what do they feel and believe that person's goal and values as an executive?" If the person have communicated well with team members, it would be easier for them to provide feedback. Second, ask "what is the difference between feedback and the opinion?" Not basing on assumptions, we must make sure that their goal is to work well with the team and to become the effective leader.
Exercise
Some participants were invited to give Bill a feedback but not an opinion.
- It is hard to give the "feedback" because our natural default is to give opinions, so we need to learn how to suspend judgments
- We need to ask the person' s goals and values than we could give feedback according to that goals and values
Challenge (homework)
- Find three people and explain the difference between feedback and opinions and ask them to give you feedback.
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